Premature ejaculation

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2013
Premature ejaculation
8
Sat, 11-02-2013 - 8:31am

Any one got any tips on how I can solve this problem as it is ruining my sex life...what I have!
I can't help and dont have much control but I seem to ejaculate as soon as I enter my partner or after a few strokes and although in the past, its not been a problem for some women for others its a big deal.
I'd love to know if any of you had a problem like this in the past and how did you manage to solve it?
It's driving me crazy. 

Has anyone had an experience of this or had a partner that suffered?  Is it a big problem or it is something you were able to live with or solve?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2013
Sat, 11-02-2013 - 9:28am

Not my favorite subject, but ok, lol.  Get a partner that wants to get dirty all day long, no matter what time it is. I say this because it will give you a better way to work on self control. Another great idea is that if your shy and you know someone is watching you, you won't be able to blow your lid. 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sun, 11-03-2013 - 1:31am

You can work on control by stopping as soon as you think it's going to happen.......taking a few deep breaths, and then starting again.  it's called the stop-start method, and you can learn to control it.  You can also practice it yourself.  You didn't say if you're with a long term partner, or it's all different women.  If it's different women, it's probably just plain nervousness, which isn't uncommon.  If you're with a long time partner.......then as long as you make sure she's taken care of FIRST......it won't matter to her.  If you give her multiple orgasms orally or digitally, she'll be happy no matter how quickly you finish.  There's something called a "self fulfilling prophecy".......meaning you cause it to happen by worrying that it will happen. 

PS:  Any woman who makes it a big deal isn't a keeper anyway.  A good woman will understand, and work with you to help you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
Sun, 11-03-2013 - 12:06pm

  I have had partners that would ejaculate very quickly.  It is possible for men to learn to control it.    You say you orgasm after entering her or after a few strokes, I have encountered men that were finished before they even got close to penetration.

  I dated one guy for a quite a while that it would happen very often.  One way we handled it was to let the first one happen however it was going to and then continue making love and making out until he was ready again, usually the next one would not be as quick.  

  I have encountered men that once they had their orgasm they were finished with everything no matter where I was.  If you are not that kind of lover and willing to continue pleasing her in anyway that you can I would imagine that many women would work with you. 

  Speaking only for myself, extended sessions of intercourse are not something that I am interested in and I would probably drop the endurance guy before I dropped a guy that did not last very long with all other things being equal.  Saying that, women are all different and what works for one does not work for another.   It is, after all, a partnership.  So if you encounter a woman that is not willing to work with you, do not assume that it is that way for every woman.

  A C-ring can help keep you erect even after you orgasm so you do not have to stop.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2013
Sun, 11-03-2013 - 12:14pm

Thanks for the reply, I will look into getting a c-ring as that is definitely something that will help me going forward and yeah I understand about foreplay, oral sex etc.  I need to put more emphasis on that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Tue, 11-05-2013 - 12:23pm

Try taking a look at the Mayo Clinic website.  It is a great source for medical issues including this one.  It mentions a varient of the stop/start method.  When you feel like you are ready to cum, stop and squeeze just below the head of the penis till the cum feeling subsides.  Then start up again.  If you have a girl friend it might be fun for her to help.  Also some guys use a numbing lotion to desensitize the penis.   You can find condoms which has some of the liquiid in/on them.  Perhaps even just a condom will delay you.  Hope things work out.

Avatar for annie66
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2011
Sat, 11-23-2013 - 12:35pm

My husband used to have that problem.  Over the years it's gotten better but I rarely have an orgasm with him from intercourse alone. He has no problem giving me oral after he's ejcaculated and I usually have a great orgasm with oral sex. And he lasts longer on the second and third go round.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2013
Mon, 12-02-2013 - 3:11pm
You might want to read my post or join my circle on Google+ to read my recent post about "Conundrums of Male Premature Ejaculation." In fact, it is an excerpt from a manuscript for a book I am hoping to publish: The book will be about the mechanics of expressing feelings, which covers extensive topics on female frustration and anger with guys that "bust" too quickly. I am not a sex therapist, but I believe I can measure up to any socalled expert, specific to male sexuality, because mine is based on experience of several mishaps as a teenage boy, who fixed it before I was 20. My interest in human sexuality began at about fifteen. Much more to offer dude: Just google: "Conundrums of Men's Premature Ejaculation."
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2014
Tue, 06-17-2014 - 7:47pm

I had exactly the same issue growing up. It actually ruined my chances to have a serious relationship I won't lie!... What helped me was xperform, I'm sure you can google that somewhere. Hope that helps a little!! Keep you head up!