Preparations?????
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Preparations?????
| Wed, 06-15-2005 - 12:53pm |
I'm completely in love with my boyfriend, although we've only been together for a couple months. We've been apart the past few weeks because he lives in Michigan and I live in Colorado. We'll see each other again next week and we're going to get a room at guest housing rather than going back to the barracks (we go to a military school). I'm kind of nervous that something will happen (like we'll have sex). We're both virgins and I was planning on waiting until marriage to lose my virginity but I feel like if things start to happen, I don't know if I'll stop them. A group of us had gotten a room at guest housing to celebrate the end of Sandhurst (a team that both my boyfriend and I were on)within the first month of dating (I knew I was in love with him when I was cooking the team dinner). For about an hour and a half we were completely alone and we started making out and he started to take things further. I wasn't quite ready so he stopped and told me that he would never making me do anything I didn't want to do or wasn't ready for. Well now, I think I'm ready (of course I won't know for sure until that moment). How do I tell him that I might be ready? And should I start birth control and buy condoms just in case? Basically, how should I prepare for something I'm not sure is actually going to happen?

Well, you can plan for some things and not for others.
The biggest thing that you can do is make sure that you are ready and ready to loose your virginity with this guy without any regrets or reservations. If you broke up shortly after loosing your virginity to him would you still be happy that you had lost it with him? Of course you're be heartbroken, but would you feel OK about your decision about your virginity?
Getting yourself on the pill is a very good idea. Taken properly it is the most effective form of birth control. In the meantime, because you are planning on seeing this guy next week, you will need condoms for both birthcontrol and to provide protection from STD's. Although obviously it's much less likely that he'll have any STD's because he's a virgin, that doesn't automatically mean that he won't have any especially if he's engaged in any sex play with other girls in the past. You might like to get both of you tested, but that choice is up to you and him to make. It's something that you should consider talking to him about.
It would be a good idea to unwrap a couple of condoms, read the directions in the packet and see how they work. Roll one over a banana or something too. You'll get a better idea of what you're dealing with then and won't feel so awkward when the appropriate time comes. Remember too, that after he's ejeculated he must hold onto the base of the condom as he withdraws so that it doesn't slip off and spill everywhere. That's often a trap for young players.
Get some lubricant too. Something like KY Liquid is good. If you find that you're not naturally lubricated enough, it can come in handy. Not to mention that it's fun stuff to use even when things are going just fine.
As for the actual day? Find somewhere private where you can relax. Make sure that the two of you spend a lot of time kissing and enjoying foreplay. The more relaxed, aroused, and naturally wet and lubricated you are, the better.
And if it doesn't work? Sometimes it doesn't. Some guys can be very nervous and find it difficult to get fully erect. You might find that you are dry and tight and tense. Don't worry too much. Laugh about it. Talk about it. Don't be embarrassed. Sex is meant to be fun. Don't take it too seriously and try again later.