Problems with Anal

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Problems with Anal
8
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 5:17pm


I've been trying anal sex with DH. We've been practicing for a good angle and such. There's some discomfort. And of course the feeling that I need to use the bathroom facilities. It disconcerts me because I want to do this and I try so hard to relax, but I can't. I'm so worried about how I appear to him and how much its going to hurt just a little that I can't ease myself into allowing it to happen. We've had full-blown anal sex before and it was spectacular, but now I can't remember the angle or anything...Anyone got some tips and positions and such to help ease the pangs of anal sex?

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 6:52pm

Along with the numerous tips you're bound to get, here's a couple of articles that should be of great help for ya:

6 Do's & Don'ts of Anal Sex
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,b31g,00.html

5 Myths of Anal Sex Uncovered
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,jdgc,00.html

Hope the replies help! :)

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 11:46pm
I have found that using lots of clit stimulation is key. Lotsa lube, and starting out in the spooning position. After I get pretty comfortable with spooning then we move to doggy or whatever. When I was as far along as you are though, it wasn't comfortable anymore. i think it was the position of the baby.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2004
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 5:17am
For my wife and I COLD was the answer. A crystal dido that had some freezer time, and ice caused her( and me) to loosen up amazingly. From two previous tries that ddnt get farther than penis head insertion, with cold and the dildo "warmup" she took me so fast and hard it scared me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 7:29am

DW and I like the standing, doggy, or on her back postions the most. In the beginning she liked laying on her stomach on the floor or bed and me on top. She said she could relax easier that way. After awhile she got used to the sensation and was relaxed in most positions. I asked her to rate the postions in order of most comfortable first.

On her stomach
On her back with legs over my shoulders
Doggy
Standing spoon

If trying to relax is difficult she suggested that after your SO is inside you to go slowly for awhile until the sensation of a movement passes.

I am not sure what you mean by "how I appear to him" but the pain part you have from not relaxing can be worked around with some anal play with fingers or small dildo/vibe.

Good luck

mb

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 6:49pm

Thank you for your tips.

What I mean by how I appear to him, is that I tend to get self-conscience from time to time. I get worried and fearful that from behind, I will seem unattractive and therefore he'll lose desire. I suffer from bouts of low self-esteem from time to time. But, he always reassures me that all is fine.

I will definately try so of the outlined ideas! Thanks!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 6:49pm
I never heard of ice..That sounds like a neat trick that DH and I will have to borrow from ya and try! Thanks!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 3:30pm

Yep, stay mindful of him you, regardless of how much or how little attractive you feel.

If it helps at all, try to remember just how much her really enjoys himself. You're finer to him than you think, especially since this is more of requested treat than yours in the first place. :)

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2004
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 5:16pm
if you are in the last stage of pregnancy then why hurt yourself by messing with anal sex now. Anything causing pain is not good. Why risk damage to you or the unborn baby. Wait until 6 weeks after the baby is born and then try it.