Question

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2008
Question
19
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 2:57pm

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 3:56pm

Male perspective here...


If you are not comfortable with this, he needs to accept it and move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 4:26pm

Hi jeni. Nice to meet you. Will you please fill in your profile so we can know something about you? Thanks. Stick around and jump in anytime. The people here are great.


How old are the two of you? Why he acted like that is beyond me. He needs to grow up and realize that you had a life before him. You've tried it before and didn't enjoy it. Nothing wrong with that. Who knows, maybe sometime in the future you may want to try it with him, but he by all means should not try to guilt you into doing something you don't want to.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 4:28pm

Welcome to the board, Jeni4lin.

I suspect that one of the reasons why your BF reacted so badly was because it was during sex. Usually, these things are best discussed outside of the bedroom, when sex isn't on the agenda at the time. There are a lot of emotions wrapped up at the time, so his were probably went into overdrive thinking of you with someone else instead of thinking about what the two of you do have together.

I think you and BF need to sit and have a talk about this. Let him know how it made you feel when he reacted the way he did, but don't blame him for wanting to try anal sex. Also, let him know that you need him to respect that this is something you don't have an interest in and exactly why you don't have the interest ... or if you think you might consider it down the road, then let him know that too. He's jealous that you've done this with someone else, and perhaps it is hurting his ego, but behaving the way he is is very childish. If he wants you to even consider this, then he needs to, at the very least, act like an adult. If you have to call him on that, do so ... and let him know that you'll be ready to discuss it when he's ready to act like an adult.

I'm not going to try and persuade you to try something that you don't want to do, but as another member said, it could be different with this BF than it was in the past. If done properly, there shouldn't be any pain with anal sex, and it's something that can be quite pleasurable for both of you.

If you ever do decide to give it another try, here are some articles that you might find helpful:

5 Myths of Anal Sex Uncovered
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,jdgc,00.html

Adventurous Intimacy: 6 Do's and Don'ts of Anal Sex
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,b31g,00.html

I want to try anal sex
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/carnal/qas/0,,638358_602026,00.html

Second Opinions: Anal Sex
What you should know
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/0,,7558qs10,00.html

Good luck, and let us know how things turn out.





iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 4:29pm

Tell him you do understand his point of view. You understand that he feels hurt because you won't try it with him. He feels left out because you tried it with someone else. Tell him you understand he would feel honored & special if you let him do it. Tell him you accept him how he is.


When he asks, So that means we can do it in the butt now?


Stay calm & say, No. And

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 4:30pm

Welcome to the board, Holly, great to have you joining in!

Stick around and join in any time ~ they're are some great folks here.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 4:33pm

Welcome to the board, iamallhers, and thanks for joining in.

Hope you stick around!





iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 4:57pm

It's his ego as well as him being childish and selfish.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 7:14pm
He had a very immature response. It has nothing to do about caring...it was just a matter of timing. You just happened to meet the other guy first. Chances are that you wouldnt have liked it with this guy either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-2008
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 10:45pm
well, if you really like this dude, then take baby steps, go to your local sex shop and get some small anal toys and use plenty of lube and while you guys are having fun, experiment with these toys until you are comfortable. my gf and I do both and the toys are just as exciting for a guy and once your body is used to the stimulation you can use fingers and then slowly progress into anal sex. but if he keeps giving you a hard time, how about you shutting him off sexually for a while and let him see what he is missing.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 11:02am

Thanks Misty.


I've been lurking for years; but I don't post very often.

Pages