Question about BJ's
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Question about BJ's
| Sun, 06-26-2005 - 7:39pm |
I am new to this board but have been lurking for awhile now. My Finace' tells me that I am not good at giving BJ's I was just wondering if you had any good techniques on how i can make it better for him. He tells me that when i am strokeing him that i need to go faster. OK so any tips will help and i can't believe I have just asked my question. I thought hey better here then asking my Best Friend or something. Thanks in advance for any tips :-)

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Well a friend or anyone else would not know what your b/f enjoys.
How rude of him to complain like that.....that's sure not a very good way to make your g/f feel good about herself! Wonder how he'd feel if you told him he was lousy at giving YOU oral?
He could have just as easily said......"honey, could you go faster?"
Anyway, as Tish said, you'll have to ask him for further instructions. Just tell him that if he's NOT happy, he can tell you what will MAKE him happy. He said faster, so go faster......and let him tell you what else he wants from you.
Every guy is different, and even if he finally tells you that you're the best.....if and when you're with another partner, you'll have to find out what HE likes, too. Some guys like it SLOW.......some like you to squeeze them tight, other's like it looser. MOST guys are happy to get it at all, and will nicely tell you what they like.
>>Is that the only choice in these situations, risk hurting them or doing without?<<
Hopefully your partner isn't super-sensitive. Most people can handle being told "You're great but there IS something that I _really_ like..."
You've heard of diplomacy, haven't you? Without THAT, my DH and I would have been divorced LONG ago! LOL!
There IS a way to get what you want without hurting anyone's feelings. And that is by making it a suggestion, not a complaint. As in...."licking my clitoris feels much better for me, rather than sticking your tongue in my vagina, can we try more of that?" I can't imagine that a loving partner would be offended by being guided. After all, no one knows it all and no one wants to waste time and energy when trying to give pleasure.
But the way to go about that sure isn't by saying "you're lousy at this....IMPROVE!"
Edited 6/28/2005 1:48 am ET ET by katmandoo2001
I can't even believe you asked that question! You've been posting around here for a while now, and always have kind & sensible replies. Did you read my reply to the OP?
This guy said to her "you're lousy at this. Why don't you go faster?" How much sense would it have taken for him to say, "OH, that feels so good! Please go a little faster, and it will feel even BETTER!"
Did you read her second post. As a result of what he said to her, NOW she cringes at the thought of it, and won't do it. His stupidity cost him a lot!
BJ's are simple and easy, but any woman who has had any experience, knows that every guy likes it a little different. If he's saying nothing, then SHE should ask if it's ok, or would he like something a little different? This is a young girl, with little or no experience, and she hasn't learned that yet. However, this guy's insensitive criticism has not only ruined it for himself, he's probably ruined HER for a long time, maybe forever. He made her feel stupid. My ex said insensitive things like that to me, and it took MANY years for me to get over some of the things he said.
This is no different than any other kind of "criticism". If your wife serves you a bowl of spaghetti, and you think the sauce is awful........would you SAY that? Of course not, because you'd probably get the bowl over your head, or at the least, never get spaghetti again. How much easier, and how much more sensible would it be to say "this sauce is really good, but I bet just a little more basil would make it even better".
It's called diplomacy.
Telling your partner what you want and what feels good to you is a lot different than telling your partner you're lousy at giving.
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