Question about BJ's

Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Question about BJ's
18
Sun, 06-26-2005 - 7:39pm
I am new to this board but have been lurking for awhile now. My Finace' tells me that I am not good at giving BJ's I was just wondering if you had any good techniques on how i can make it better for him. He tells me that when i am strokeing him that i need to go faster. OK so any tips will help and i can't believe I have just asked my question. I thought hey better here then asking my Best Friend or something. Thanks in advance for any tips :-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2001
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 1:41pm
First, it never occurred to me to tell her that she was bad at making spaghetti, like the OP's BF did, even though it was pretty much inedible. It's just that I had had some pretty good spaghetti before I met her and it seemed like the number of 'suggestions' I would have had to make couldn't have been construed as anything but criticism. At least that was her reaction when I tried that approach in other areas. Also, I think I was influenced by her lack of enthusiasm for making spaghetti. So, since it seemed like I only had a choice between having her being angry and resentful, and refusing to make spaghetti ever again, or simply to stop asking for spaghetti, I chose the latter. It's pretty much a moot point now, since she stopped cooking a long time ago, but I sometimes wonder if I could have handled it differently. Thanks anyway for all for the suggestions. I guess if one of my sons comes to me with a similar problem I'll at least be able to give him some useful advice, LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 2:14pm
Well, everyone is different and, thus, everyone enjoys different techniques. I'm not really all that experienced, but I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year and when I first started exploring oral sex with him, I wasn't all that great at it. One thing he taught me is that sex is like anything else: it takes practice to get good at it. You might be a great lover naturally just as someone else might be a great baseball player. But just because you're not good at something at first doesn't mean you can't improve. So don't feel bad or like a failure, that's most important. As far as my personal technique, I'm learning new things all the time. Some things work, some things don't. My guy loves oral sex, so I try to do new and different things to increase his pleasure. A very important part is listening to what he has to say and also paying attention to his reactions. I tell him what I like, what I don't care for and vice versa. Oral sex can be tricky. My tips are: definitely initiate some foreplay (teasing with your tongue is good), keep your mouth wet (it may sound gross, but my guy thinks the wetter the better), use your hands!, I grab his penis with my hand (not too tight!) and "jerk" as I'm performing with my mouth. You will have to do it harder and faster for him to orgasm probably, but it's best to work your way up to it. Hope this helps :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2005
Tue, 06-28-2005 - 4:18pm
While I think a man should have a slightly more delicate way of helping guide you than to complain (maybe he'd prefer no BJ's?), I'll try to help. The key is keeping him well lubricated and helping him with a gentle, loving stroking pattern. Try to concentrate on the head of his penis with your mouth and tongue with an occasional plunge. I also found my lovers enjoy when I'm on my back and slide down after a long, passionate make out session - kissing down his neck, chest and belly then taking him in my mouth while he is still over me. He controls the speed that way, and my hands are free to caress his legs, butt, back, etc. This always results in a quick climax, but you do have to sacrifice the eye contact which I also enjoy... Good luck and remember practice makes perfect! :)
Avatar for smoothone2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 06-29-2005 - 8:48pm
Woo Hoo I almost can't wait now. I will just have to put the "not so nice comment" aside during the time however if he makes a rude remark like that again he is cut off from all BJ's. Thanks so much for all your great advice! I will let you know how it goes! He comes home Tommorow evening, he has been gone for a week out of town so this will be rather interesting! Thanks again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2005
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 1:35am
Hey wats going on? Well I have some tips for u that will blow him away.First you need to kiss him from his lips to his neck slowly. Move down to his Chest and tease his nipples for a while. Then move down kissing softly all over the stomach to the thigh area. go back up and pull out his um u know. Open your mouth as wide as u can and put him in nice and slow then increase your speed using NO NO i repeat NO Teeth. Instead use your lips. Dont forget to go around his tip and on the sides like u sucking a drink. Most woman forget to hold the nuts or play with them (Suck them if you are into that)Its all mind over matter. Just forget everything and let go and do your best. If u need more tips let me know and i can be more specific. Bye Bye
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 4:28am

From my point of view, communication is best served cold, rather than blurting out during the event "No, why cant you just.....".

And my rule for this, is praise, comment and praise followed by a question. Such as....

"Honey, I have to say, I really appreciated what you just did for me, it felt really, really good, and I am not just saying that. But you know what, next time, if you could just go a little faster that would be even better. And you know you blow my mind already - so imagine how good it would then be. By the way honey, is there anything different I can do for you?"

Pick you own words - but the conversation is easier that way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Fri, 07-01-2005 - 8:20pm
well the tip is most sensitive...so you don't have to go all the way down if you can't...it helps to make a circle with your hand...then press your lips to the index finger and thumb and make sure there is A LOT of spit/lubracation...makes all the difference...and in a motion together up and down but don't unconnect your hand from your mouth...you just have to be very comfortable doing it...good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Mon, 07-18-2005 - 6:51pm
Sorry, but he sounds like a jerk. If he wants a bj and he knows you don't know how then he should GENTLY tell you what he wants! My current bf is the FIRST one I have EVER given bj's too. He knew this and helped me to give him what he wants. A GREAT experience for EVERYONE involved. First, buy some K-Y jelly just use a little when you start with a hand job. Second, it's not a lollypop. Be gentle and increase the pressure. I use my lips and just increase my jaw pressure. Third and last, it takes practice (that makes them happy).

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