Question About Fingering

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Question About Fingering
11
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 10:35pm

Hi,

I have never been "fingered" before (or should I say for an extended period of time), it seems my new guy likes to do this to bring me to orgasm (I have not yet and I think that's because I am nervous and a bit self conscious). My question is (hope this does not sound silly) ...is it acceptable to "thrust" and "grind" while he is doing this, like using his hand as I would his penis?

Thanks!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2005
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 11:25pm

Hi freespirit,


I think its ok, b/c I did it myself.....when Dh was my boyfriend and we were in high school, thats what we did.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 07-29-2005 - 11:53pm

Anything that feels good to you, and is a natural reaction to what's being done to you is acceptable. Why wouldn't it be?

But I have some news for you and your b/f. Vaginal stimulation isn't likely to give you an orgasm......because most women don't have orgasms from intercourse, either. Women need clitoral stimulation (that's part of what you're doing.....moving, trying to get that!)

Also, just the fact that you know he's trying to give you an orgasm (he can't GIVE you one anyway, he can only help you have it!) makes it a goal for you, and the best way to NOT have an orgasm is to TRY to have on. Just enjoy what he's doing, and direct him to your clitoris for more and better stimulation......if you have an orgasm, fine....but if you don't, so what....it's the pleasure that counts, not whether or not you have an orgasm. If you learn to enjoy the pleasure (and not worry about your reaction to it) the orgasms will come.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 07-30-2005 - 8:32am

If grinding or thrusting feels good to you, then do it.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for elainetwirl
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2003
Sat, 07-30-2005 - 9:39am
I agree with what's been said, there is no right way or wrong way to enjoy sex. The important thing is to make sure that your partner knows how to give you pleasure, not merely how to use you for his own satisfaction. Different men make love in different ways, so it often takes a while to get used to a new lover, but once you do you should be finding things that give each of your delight. Elaine
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 12:38am
Yes ! Perfectly acceptable !
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 1:46am
If it feels good, do it....but digital vaginal stimulation never did anything for me personally unless some clitoral manipulation is added.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Sun, 07-31-2005 - 12:30pm

Hi freespirit_gal:

1-Each person is responsible for their OWN orgasm. Your partner is their to ASSIST.

2-The orgasm should not be the goal of sex; but, PARTNER CLOSENESS AND INTAMACY.

3-The orgasm happens AFTER YOU get comfortable with your sexual partner. IMHO, it takes some time to get comfortable with your body, sex, body noises, vaginal queefing, etc...

4-Your sexual partner should be massaging your clitoris. A younger guy may want to INSERT A FINGER into the vaginal canal. The clitoris has most of the nerve endings; the clitoris is the main sexual organ for FEMALE PLEASURE.

Mac

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 2:00pm

You most likely find that if he like fingering, you will make him nutty if you start grinding and thrusting.

-Savanah.Jane

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 8:28pm

I've been "fingering" for over thirty years and I've ALWAYS known it meant using your finger to stimulate her clitoris. It amazes me that anyone would just be putting his finger in her vagina - unless of course he's searching for that elusive G-spot.

taoist

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2005
Tue, 08-02-2005 - 9:31am
Thanks to you all for your responses, I appreciate them! I will certainly "let loose" and go with the flow - he had better watch out! :)

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