question about numbing creams

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
question about numbing creams
9
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 3:33pm

Hi everyone!

My SO is a wonderful lover but he has problems with keeping his erection sometimes. We don't have that problem in the mornings, just in the evenings, he is only semi erect no matter how much foreplay. He wants to find something that we can use to prolong his erection. A friend of mine told me about numbing creams that you can use before and you wait about 15 minutes before IC. Has anyone tried these and does anyone have any other suggestions to help with this problem??

Thanks for any help you can give us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 4:26pm
Erection issues wouldn't be solved by numbing agents tho I've heard of them being used when men suffer from premature ejaculation. How old is he? What state if health is he in? Unless he's already been to the Dr, I would stress to him the importance of seeing one. Erection quality does change as as men get older and it maybe the two of you should work out alternative forms of sexual expression in the evenings so that he isn't faced with having to perform when past experience has stacked the deck against him so to speak. The only other suggestion is to continue to be understanding and loving with him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 5:14pm

Welcome to the board wanthappiness2007.

I don't think a numbing agent will help with the problem you are experiencing. Typically, it is used to delay ejaculation. Since he's having trouble maintaining his erections and/or the actual hardness of his erection, it's more likely that he's having some trouble with erectile dysfunction.

Erectile dysfunction can be caused because of medical conditions, but it can also be caused because of psychological reasons. Most guys will experience problems from time to time, but if this is a regular event or has gone on for some amount of time, talking with his doctor is his best option. First off, he needs to rule out any medical problems. Assuming he's healthy, then there are prescription medications that can help as well.

If you want to learn a little more about erectile dysfunction, here are several resources:

iVillage Total Health: Erectile Dysfunction Affects 18 Million US Men
http://health.ivillage.com/di/dinews/0,,wbnews_b6skrsst,00.html

How Stuff Works: Erectile Dysfunction
http://health.howstuffworks.com/how-erectile-dysfunction-works2.htm

Wikipedia: Erectile Dysfunction
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erectile_dysfunction

Net Doctor: Impotence
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/impotence.htm

Medicine Net: Causes of Impotence
http://www.medicinenet.com/impotence_ed/page2.htm#cause

Mayo Clinic: Erectile Dysfunction
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/DS00162/DSECTION=3



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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 5:40pm
Thanks for your reply! He is 41 will be 42 in a few weeks. He is in good health, he works out and is not over weight. We are in a new relationship, we have been together for a month now. He says he has been having this problem for a year or so. He gets an erection but it is not rock hard but hard enough if you know what I mean, but in the mornings it is definitely rock hard. He has been thinking of seeing a doctor but his hispanic male pride is holding him back. I have been very understanding and do not push the IC. I told him I am perfectly happy with just being close to him and him holding me all night. Everytime we sleep together we always end up having IC, the first time we did it about 6 times all night long and he came each time, the last two times we have done it before going to sleep then in the morning, it is always great even when he is not rock hard he still manages to make me orgasm. I just wanted to see if I could find something to make it better for both of us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Thu, 07-05-2007 - 6:29pm
I couldn't in good conscience recommend a numbing agent for use with anything connected to sex, but I wonder whether he's tried using (or would consider trying) a penis ring to help maintain his erection?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 12:10am

Six times in one night? And you want to make it better for both of you? Huh? Whether or not he's ROCK hard, he's doing the job....and what makes you think it's not good for him? As for you, what has the hardness of his erections to do with your orgasms?

If it's happening at night, but not in the morning, so it's not a physical thing. If it was, it would be the same no matter what time of day or night. It's probably because he's tired from a day's work!

Last but not least, you've only been with him a month, and it takes more than that to even KNOW him, let alone being comfortable sexually! Time will probably take care of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 9:30am

Thanks for your reply! No, I am not complaining by any means. He is the one that talks about the hardness, he said he wants to try something to make it harder as hard as it is in the morning, he asked me to look around on the internet and see what I could find that he could try. I told him that he satisfies me no matter what but he said he wants to make it better. The 6 times in one night was the very first night we slept together, we got very little sleep that night, we couldn't keep our hands off each other! I know we both still have alot to learn about each other but the chemistry is off the charts!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 9:34am


Hi Steve,

Thanks for your reply! As far as I know he has never tried a penis ring or any other toys, we have talked about it and he said he has not. I will buy one and see if he would be interested in trying it. Do you think a plain ring or should we go with a vibrating one?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Fri, 07-06-2007 - 7:36pm

Make sure you get a penis ring designed to maintain the erection. There are different kinds out there that are more for play. I think if you are making love in the morning (every morning) and then at night too and he is almost 42 he may just take a little longer to bounce back. The penis ring should help with that. I remember my last boyfriend having this problem (of course he was 50) but a few months after we first got together we were still having great sex every day so it should work itself out.

Its great to hear you have such terrific chemistry with him. Hope it all works out for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sun, 07-08-2007 - 8:00pm
The vibrating ring won't do anything to help him maintain his erection. You want the plain metal ring for that, although there's no reason you couldn't combine a vibrating ring with the metal one.

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