Question for the ladies.
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Question for the ladies.
| Tue, 03-07-2006 - 7:43pm |
How do you feel about going down on your man??
It came up last night w/ my girlfriends. One claimed that she has never gone down a guy, ever and never will because she finds it repulsive. My other friend says she does it if she "has to" but won't unless her bf really wants it.
Let the discussion rolllll.

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That's sad that your g/f's feel the way they do about giving head. It's such an enjoyable thing for the guy and it's bound to have repecussions for them. I can't imagine that too many guys would feel like regularly performing oral sex on a partner who never returns the favour.
As a guy I love going down on a woman, and I can't see why any woman would find giving oral sex to a perfectly clean and healthy penis revolting. I mean an erection is pretty harmless when you think about it - it's just smooth skin. Nothing too revolting about that. If anything, cunnilingus is messier than fellatio. You can't avoid the sometimes copious amounts of female lubrication during cunnilingus and you usually end up with a messy face. The only messy part with a guy is ejeculation and you can avoid that if you finish him off by hand.
I guess that there are all sorts of factors and past experiences that can make a woman feel that way but, as I said before, it is a shame.
i used to think it was kind of gross and very degrading before i did it but id never really been in a situation i thought appropriate for it (there was never anyone i wanted to do it for)... and considering i only started in maybeeeeee november (more or less)i think ive progressed ALOT! lol i honestly love giving my boyfriend oral now, and i like it more and more everytime i do it, there's just something so good about making him feel that way, and id have to admit i just love his penis too! i guess my guy jsut reallymade me love penis
I've had a couple of friends tell me why they don't like to do it, Westie, and after hearing them, I understood their feelings.
No woman enjoys being choked because her head was jammed down and held on an erection. So, "a messy face" full of lubrication doesn't really compare. And actually, my DH enjoys that when and if it happens. LOL!
No, not every act of oral sex is a loving act, unfortunately, and THAT really is a shame.
Actually I think it depends on the situation and how comfortable you are with the man. I was married and was repulsed by doing it because he made it a must for me to do very often. He would give me guild trips or whatever to get me to. He also wasn't really contributing to the relationship much after a while so I didn't feel he "deserved" that from me when I didn't like it very much to begin with. We eventually got divorced but not because of that :) haha!
Now I have a great boyfriend who I have been with for about 2 years and we have a great relationship. We both love sex more than oral sex which is nice to have in common, but if it is my time of the month and he is feeling a little frisky I honestly don't mind surprising him with it. He knows I hate to swallow it so he warns me when he is about to ejaculate. We had a frank open discussion about it and now I don't really care all that much. I got to discuss openly what I don't like about it and he was fine with it which made me feel much better about it. He never once has asked me for it, it has always been a surprise. I think he deserves the surprise every now and then. :)
>>No woman enjoys being choked because her head was jammed down and held on an erection.<<
Yep. That would be one of those past experiences or factors that I mentioned might be a reason. Under THOSE circumstances I totally agree with you - no wonder a woman wouldn't want to perform fellatio. However, if it's just one of those baseless "Oh but a penis is gross and got germs" kinda reasons then it would be disappointing.
>>So, "a messy face" full of lubrication doesn't really compare.<<
Um, beg to differ :-) I have been in the situation once or twice where I've had my head squeezed between thighs and pushed hard against a very wet vulva resulting in a complete inability to breath! So I can relate to some degree ;-) I don't noirmally mind the mess, in fact I enjoy it a great deal, but not when I'm pushed into it and loose control! OMG! I sound like a woman! LOL!
True, few men can deal with the vise-like thigh strength of an aroused woman but as my DH has discovered over the years...MOST of the wetness you mentioned is his own saliva!
But the only time I've personally heard a woman say that she was repulsed by fellatio, was because she was practically orally raped or pressured to do it.
Edited 3/9/2006 1:34 am ET by katmandoo2001
"The only messy part with a guy is ejeculation and you can avoid that if you finish him off by hand."
That's not necessarily true though. In my experience, different men have different amounts of precum and it greatly varies. One of my ex partners had virtually no precum at all, every once in a blue moon he'd get a tiny little bubble out before ejaculation but that was all. My fiance on the other hand produces large amounts of precum lubrication almost as soon as he gets an erection, even when he is not even close to orgasm... there is so much of it that it always seeps out onto his stomach and creates a pool or if he's still partially dressed, areas of his shirt or boxers become soaked with it. So when I go down on him, all of that goes in my mouth and often around it. No, it's not the same as sticking your face in it but surely you can see the lack of appeal for some women when a man produces literally pools of lubrication that's going to go into her mouth. Luckily for for my fiance, I don't mind it because it doesn't taste bad at all and I love seeing how good it makes him feel. But I understand how some women could be turned off by this.
He refuses to cum in my mouth though, I think he thinks it would be disrespectful or unpleasant for me and he prefers to cum during intercourse anyways. I would try it if he let me but I guess I don't have to worry about whether I'd like it or not because he won't do it.
As a teen, I used to think going down on a guy at all was gross and vowed never to do it. But when I became sexually active, it somehow didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore. So I don't think that whenever someone says "I'll never do it" it's just a result of a bad experience, it may just be a *lack* of experience.
Genealogical Musings
haha thanks for all your repsonses!! never thought that maybe something had happened that she had such negative feelings towards it - she just said she had never done it and never will. they kind of looked at me like i was a huge freak for enjoying it so i figured id throw out the questions and show them i wasn't alone.
i think inexperience is a big part of it too, i think lots of women are afraid that they won't do it right or don't know what to do it at all
i def enjoy learning new techniques and everything to try on my man and i know i've never disappointed him. i said something last night and added "something to remember me by" and he was like "after the other night, i could never forget you" how could you not wanna do something to leave a lasting impression on someone like that? ;)
Good point about the varying amounts of preejaculate. Some men produce a lot, just as some women produce more lubrication.
However, I didn't say that most or all women who are repulsed by the act are so only because of a bad experience. I said that the women I KNOW personally who have related their negative feelings about it gave bad experiences as the reason. Preconceived ideas, upbringing, etc. can affect one's feelings about any sexual act for both sexes.
Edited 3/9/2006 11:52 am ET by katmandoo2001
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