Question for women?
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Question for women?
| Mon, 03-12-2007 - 3:11am |
I was just wondering if women find masturbation a turn-on? What I mean is, does a woman enjoy watching a man masturbate, is it a turn on? One more question. I masturbate at least once a day, I'm married but theres no sex and has'nt been for 2 years, so I masturbate. Is this wrong? Is it a type of cheating? Thanks for the replys.

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I didn't say that men have MORE needs, I said they have needs, as do most women. His wife's excuse is pathetic.....she did a lot of partying when she was young, and she's no longer interested? So, that's supposed to satisfy him? No, that's selfish, pure and simple.
She'd probably be the first one to cry "foul" if she caught him cheating on her.
My new wife is a little younger than me, has a healthy libido, and understands the value of sex within a marriage. Some might say I went thru a mid-life crisis, maybe I did. I think I came to the realization that I wasnt happy, I love sex and the closeness that comes in a loving, sexual relationship, and that I would never have that with my (then) wife. It was the toughest thing I EVER did! But I am much happier now, so all the pain of breaking an old habit was worth it.
I very much enjoy watching a man masturbate, and yes, it is a huge turn on for me.
"I masturbate at least once a day, I'm married but theres no sex and has'nt been for 2 years, so I masturbate. Is this wrong? Is it a type of cheating?"
Each marriage has it's own rules about what is cheating, right, wrong, etc. Personally, I think masturbation is healthy, but if you are masturbating instead of having sex with your partner, then that is an indication that their is a problem in the relationship. I don't think of the act of masturbation as "cheating", but if you are masturbating in place of having sex with your partner, you may well be "cheating" her out of something that belongs in your relationship. As far as being wrong, I think that all depends on why you are masturbating instead of having sex. I don't think the masturbation is wrong, but I do think it is wrong to not try to have a healthy relationship.
My DH and I went through a period of about 2 years where we rarely had sex. There were a lot of things that contributed to that -- none of which had anything to do with how we felt about each other. My libido was nearly non-existent at that time, but I did masturbate sometimes in the shower, mainly as a stress reliever. My DH felt he could not handle being rejected anymore, and took matters into his own hands as well. Not having partnered sex in our relationship did put our relationship in jeopardy, and we were both cheating each other out of something that we both needed, but neither of us thought that we were cheating "on" each other, KWIM?
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"She finshed with the list and told me that she has had all the sex she needs or wants, but she'll do her job as a wife."
Obviously this attitude isn't going to benefit your relationship in anyway, nor is it healthy. Have you asked her to see a therapist, as a couple or alone?
You don't run out of sex -- it's not like you use it all up, or even the desire. I think she is struggling with some libido and/or depression issues. There are ways to get your relationship back on a healthy foot, but you both have to want that for it to happen.
There is a book called "The Language of Love" that many people have referred to, and have said it helped them tremendously within their own relationships. Perhaps a copy of that would be a good investment. You can both read it, and then discuss that.
I know it must have been upsetting to sit and have her present her "list". I'm not sure why you would want to stay in the relationship, but I do think if you are going to seek sexual attention outside of the relationship, then you should ask her how she feels about that as well. You mention that you were split up for 4-5 years, what drew you back together in the first place? I just think both of you would benefit from (and deserve) a healthy relationship.
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