QUESTIONS

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
QUESTIONS
4
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 2:19pm
Hi everyone, I have been married for almost 15 years. Our sex life is fairly normal. It has had it's ups and downs in the past but that was mostly due to being pregnant three times or dealing with UTI infections. But for the most part it has been normal. See my biggest problem is that I feel like our sex in the bed room is at a stale mate. What I mean is that is just seems down right boring. We have tried different positions. Different ways. But it just seems blah. I can satify my husband in four different ways. But thats just about it. If we try any new ways other then those four he is out if air and can't seem to perform very well. My husband is a tad out of shape but for the most part he is healthy. I am just plain bored. I want some excitement. Some steam. Some pizazz. I want to experiment. He does to but in different ways then I want to. So if there is anyone out there who has any advice. Please pass it along to me. Before I got married I had a very wild sex life. So that may be the cause for my wild side coming out.

Thanks Hootowls1

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
In reply to: hootowls1
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 2:29pm
I dated an overweight man once and I found that I was on top most of the time. Get ontop of him and ride him facing him and then give reverse cowgirl a try. You could also try having intercourse while spooning. With him behind you, spooning you, lift your top leg so he can enter you. It feels incredible and it's not that much strain for him.

What about candles, sexy outfits, blowjobs and licking and sucking his balls. Try and think - go back to what you use to do during those wild sex days and use those actions on your hubby!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: hootowls1
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 2:36pm
Welcome hoot! Plenty of that here on the message boards too, lol, so you're not alone.

Honestly, I expect this topic to become...a hoot! LOL! Really, there's so many great ideas for you from such a diverse community as this.

Kind of a catch though, YOU have already enjoyed what you termed the wild side of sex, even before you got married to this nice guy you're with. I'm hoping you'll get just as many ideas about how to help him become more comfortable with being a bit more adventurous with you as well as getting ideas on other sex techniques to rev things up.

My wife & I really opened up to other ideas once we got hooked on body massaging each other with oils. With the edibles, we're into orally exploring the body rather than just the typical parts. Massaging itself is so key for loosening us up as well. Also, I felt that blindfolding was kind of corny all along, but once it was actually tried on me, I changed my tune forever! If you haven't already done so, these two message boards really specialize in your type of situation and have helped ME quite a bit:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlimproveyou

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlpleasurepr

Good luck, and enjoy the tons of ideas you've got coming! ;P

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hootowls1
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 4:18pm
Well, if you're bored, then you're part of the problem. Why? Well, because it sounds like you're waiting around for something to happen instead of making it happen. Your excitement will be a catalyst for his but you have to take control and be enthusiastic regardless of what his attitude is. You MAY have to drag him along for awhile until he gets the message.

Get out some toys and put on a show for him. Do a striptease and satisfy yourself right in front of him. Read some great erotica to him and stimulate both your minds. My point is that you're bored so the change starts with YOU. He can do all kinds of things for you, before you resort to one of those "4 things" that he needs to be satisfied. Your enthusiasm will be his impetus to get back in the game though. Enthusiasm, as well as arousal, is "catching."

BTW, have you tried exercising together? My DH and I find that it stimulates our physical connection and because we feel better, we're more likely to have great sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: hootowls1
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 4:46pm
I don't understand....you want to experiment, but he wants to experiment in different ways? Since you both have different ideas, does that mean NEITHER of you can do anything? As Kat said, if you're just waiting for him to do some thing, and he's waiting for you to do something, I guess nothing will ever happen. Why can't you BOTH do whatever you have in mind?

You two need to start talking to each other, OUT of the bedroom, and do something about it. Sex in a marriage IS going to get boring if you do the same things over and over. It takes work to keep things interesting, and you have to do more than just talk about it. You have to DO something about it.

You say you can only satisfy him in 4 ways. How do you know that....maybe there are 20 ways, but you'll never know until you try. So, it doesn't work? Then try something else, or go back to the old tried and true! And how many ways can he satisfy you? I'll bet there's some way that he hasn't thought of, and you haven't told him.

Talk, discuss, and communicate....and take action.