Quickies

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
Quickies
7
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 11:27am
I'm 25 years old and I've been doing to bar scene with my friend every few months. I've never had a one night stand or anything. She's a little older than me and quite experienced at everything. I've had opportunities for one night stands or "quickies" at the bar, but haven't gotten the nerve to do it yet. My friend told me I should do it when I'm comfortable. I don't think I could do the one night stand because I'd never get the courage to go home with someone I just met and spend the night. But I might go for a quickie if it feels right. My question is, how can you make it a "quickie" since women need quite a bit of foreplay to get "ready" for the acutal deed? Would it be weird to the guy if I had lube with me in my purse? I think it's one of those things where I'd want to slip off to a private place, do the deed, and get back with my friends. For some reason, it's just something I want to try. But I don't want to drag it out and make a long intimate experience. Just good guick sex! I'm too embarassed to ask my friend about this!

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: mustang8828
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 3:39pm
I can't really offer you suggestions since that is not my thing, but instead of just carrying lube in your purse, I would strongly suggest you carry condoms with you in case you do hook up with someone for a quickie and he doesn't have condoms on him.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: mustang8828
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 9:07pm
I don't think that any guy that is prepared to nip out to the carpark with you for a quickie is going to be very worried about a little bottle of lube appearing from out of a purse. I'm sure he wouldn't bat an eye if you brought out the waterbed, the vibrators and a midget if he knew that he was 30 seconds away from having sex with a girl he just met at the bar.

You might consider using condoms too - lubricated ones would help - if you are going to be having sex with a stranger.

Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: mustang8828
Sat, 10-30-2004 - 9:22pm
I don't think that "getting up the nerve" is the problem. I think that your intuition is telling you that this might not be a great idea.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: mustang8828
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 7:44am
Agree. This is very unsafe behavior, from several physical aspects. If you're going to do it, I don't think any guy is going to care what you whip out of your purse at that point. Definitely you should be using condoms and ideally, another reliable form of BC.

If you're going to do this, make sure a friend in the bar knows you're leaving - so someone can look for you if you don't return in a reasonable amount of time. About 2 years ago, a local woman was found behind a bar, near the dumpsters, with her throat cut. She'd done the same thing, nipping out for a quickie, according to her friends. She told them she'd be back soon, and they saw her leave with a guy but no one knew who he was. To this day they haven't found him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
In reply to: mustang8828
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 8:09am
Thanks for the advice everyone. You're right, my decision to not do that yet is most likely because I know the risks involved. My friends don't pressure me, but say I should just do it when I'm ready. And I don't ever think I'll be ready for that. I don't want my friends to think I'm "Miss Perfect" but they grew up in a very different time than I did. I'm a lot younger than they are they've told me that times were different when they were my age. I do feel better now with my past decisions. I wouldn't think of having sex without a condom! Safe sex is top priority!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2004
In reply to: mustang8828
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 8:17am
The whole thing puzzles me. Your friends shouldn't be saying to do it when you're ready, since this isn't something that *ever* needs to be done. It sounds like you're a little too worried about what they think. Why do you care if they think you're Miss Perfect anyway? Isn't it better to be Miss Perfect than to end up with a sexually transmitted disease (condoms do break at times) or to end up dead?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: mustang8828
Sun, 10-31-2004 - 12:01pm
I agree. One gets married when one is ready or had children, or buys a house. Or changes jobs or something like that. But what does being ready have to do with giving a guy a quick piece in the backseat of his car parked at a bar? It's not something that anyone *ever* has to do. I'm puzzled.

I'm also puzzled that the friend grew up in an early era and things were different - I agree with that but it's the here and now that is the issue, not what was going on 20 years ago, sexwise. And that holds true for anyone, regardless of age.