ready for sex but just cant do it! help!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2006
ready for sex but just cant do it! help!
4
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 3:57pm
well ive been with my boyfriend for two years and we still havent had sex. I'm a virgin but me and my boyfriend do everything but sex and are completely comfortable with each other. We are in love and decided that we should have sex. However, every time we try to have sex i break down in tears and nerves. As much as i want to have sex, i cant because i break down in tears and cant help but feel guilty.
I need help to break this fear and guilt!!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2006
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 4:09pm
I don't think that you are ready. not if you start to cry when you try. Take some time to yourself. And think is this really what you want or need right now. your first time is susposed to be special.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 7:35pm

First of all, what's the fear and guilt about? WHY do you feel guilty? Why do you fear it? What do you think could go wrong and why do you think it is a bad thing to feel guilty about? Can you explain what it is all about?

The next thing is to examine these fears and the guilt? Is it logical? Is there a good reason for feeling that way? Why do you think that you feel this way?

Lastly, if this is how you are reacting, then it's simply not the right time for you. You want to enjoy this so don't force yourself to do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 11:19pm

First of all, you ARE having sex! All "intimacy" is sex, that's why it's called "oral sex", "anal sex"....what you're NOT doing is having intercourse. Why can you do every thing else and NOT feel guilty....but you do about intercourse? What's the difference? Actually, intercourse is not as intimate as oral sex!

Your fear.......are you afraid of getting pregnant? Are you on some form of birth control? If not, then you should be on something. That will take care of the fear.

Really, if you feel this way, then you are NOT ready. When people are ready, they don't have fear or guilt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 7:40am
I agree with the others, if you cry and have feelings of fear and guilt, then you're not ready to have intercourse.

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