A Reason to be Upset????

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
A Reason to be Upset????
7
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 3:54am
Last night, the boyfriend and I had sex. Afterward, we turned on a movie, watched it, and then started getting heated again afterward. I felt too sore down there to have intercourse again, so I suggested we fool around .. I give him oral sex, then he gives it to me, or vice-versa. (This is also about 2 in the morning). I decided to go down on him first, asking him if he'd still be up to switching it around afterwards, and he said yes. After I was finished, I laid down next to him, and he curled up and went to sleep. He said nothing .. he didn't even just simply state that he was too tired.

Of course, I was upset, and a little ticked. I told him I was frustrated because we said that we'd fool around on each other. He even told me he'd be up to it afterward. Now, I can completely understand being too tired to fool around (believe me, I've been there), however he was awake enough to get things heated with me, and he was more than willing to recieve oral sex, but was too tired to give back, which was part of our little "deal".

My question is, ladies, would you be upset if your man did this in bed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 5:46am
I'd look at the 'big picture'. If he was generally a very caring, giving partner - then I'd be a little frustrated - but not overly upset. Sometimes we all get a bit selfish - it's human nature. Not to mention other factors that may be playing into it. You didn't mention if you'd been sharing any alcohol.....but 2am, a glass of wine and an orgasm would put me very quickly to sleep and that's probably what happened to him.

However, if this was standard behaviour that would be a different story.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 7:59am
If this happened repeatedly, yes, it would tick me off.....one time, no biggie.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 8:30am
I agree with the others, if it happened once or on rare occasion, no I wouldn't be upset.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 8:57am
I have to agree with everyone else. A common occurance, sure. The first time he ever fell asleep like this (leaving you hanging)? Nah, I couldn't get mad.

Besides - something happened like this to me except I was the sleep-er and DH was the sleep-ee, lol. And while DH was no doubt disappointed - and I felt bad the next day when he told me what I'd done - he wasn't mad. That would have made me feel worse, and defensive to boot because I didn't even remember falling asleep.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2003
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 11:42am
Well I guess a little background info would've helped lol. No, we weren't drinking. And yes, it does happen quite often. Thing will get really heated, and I'll go down on him, and then he's done. I don't expect something every single time, but every once in awhile would be nice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 12:11pm
After reading your first post, I agreed with the others.....you overreacted. Sex isn't about "keeping score".

After reading your second post.....I realized what your complaint is all about. Not last night.....but your general dissatisfaction with his sexual selfishness. My question to you is why do you let it happen? Have you told HIM how you feel? If so, what was his reaction?

The solution is very simple.....it's the old "ladies first" rule! Start with him if you feel like it, but don't finish him.....switch places, and get yours....THEN you finish him. Believe me....he'll react to that.

It's sad that simply discussing it can't fix it, but if it can't...then you have to take matters into your own hands.....if you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 12:26pm
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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd