Riding

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
Riding
8
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 12:42am

Ok Me and my boyfriend decided to try me on top this time but when I did it it was excruciating pain I couldn't enjoy myself b/c I was in so much pain. Is this normal and is there a technique to doing this?

But then again it had been three months since we last did it and it was my third time doing it. Could that have had a factor in my pain?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: naeemah83
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 7:05am

Sex should never be painful.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
In reply to: naeemah83
Wed, 07-20-2005 - 7:06am

Tish, can we get "normal" added to the list of words that this site bans? :)

THERE IS NO NORMAL.

Everyone is different, every couple is different, there is no magic one answer that works always for all people. I don't think there is one "answer" that works for one couple every time.

If you are in pain, you probably need to do something different -- more lubrication (natural or added), different position, etc. A very small difference in position can cause huge changes in angles where it counts, sliding an inch one way or another could be the difference between pain and thrill for you. OR it may just be a position that doesn't work for you. My GF has physical limitations which limit our relative motion in that position -- so it just doesn't "work" for us (though it's a fun to try :).

Maybe he's too "long" and is "bottoming out" in that position (I've been told that's a very uncomfortable event. Never been an issue for me, however. :), but again, small variations in this could resolve that. You are the ones there, you are in control in that position, you need to do the experimenting to find out what is causing the problem and what you can do about it.

And yes, I've been told by a few women I've been with who had long "dry spells" before me that "first time in a while" needs to be done very carefully and slowly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
In reply to: naeemah83
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 5:37pm
thanx for the advice yeah we didn't have much foreplay. we did have some though guess it wasn't enough. I think we should have tried me on top on a bed first, because we were on a chair so it really wasn't much we could do about the position problem. We did stop a few times but I wanted to keep going because my whole thing was that if we just stop completely then the next time there would be pain so I much rather get the pain over with now than later.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: naeemah83
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 6:06pm
Always make sure you get enough foreplay in till you are well aroused and well lubricated.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: naeemah83
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 7:34pm

Like the others have said, pain during intercourse is not "normal". You're not going to "get through it". OK, so you can expect a bit of pain when you loose your virginity. That's not uncommon when the hymen is broken. But that's generally a one-off situation. Pain after that is never a good sign. It's telling you that something isn't going well.

As the others said, its frequently because of a lack of lubrication which can usually be fixed with extra foreplay and/or using extra lubrication. Sometimes it's from the penetration being too deep in some positions or if the guy has a big penis that "hits bottom". Other times it can be from a bacterial infection or something like thrush. Even sharp fingernails can scratch you inside too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
In reply to: naeemah83
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 7:47pm
yeah I see next time there will be more foreplay. I read in your reply and you said "hits bottom" what does that mean?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: naeemah83
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 11:09pm
"Hits bottom" just means that in some positions his penis can go the full depth of your vagina and hit your cervix. Quite unpleasant and sometimes painful apparently. Doggie-style is one of those positions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2005
In reply to: naeemah83
Fri, 07-22-2005 - 11:16pm
oh ok I see now. I was thinking about going to get checked out and see if anything is wrong. thanks alot for the advice.