Round 2 for men

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
Round 2 for men
8
Sat, 12-09-2006 - 5:45pm
My bf can get hard again pretty soon after ejaculating. The second time around, he lasts SO long and we haven't had sex long enough for the second time for him to ejaculate again. If we kept going, could he? Or will we always have to finish with him getting himself off?
And why does it take so long the second time? Is it because he doesn't have as much semen in him? Can he have an orgasm without ejaculating?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: curiousj3
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 9:26pm

>>If we kept going, could he?<<
Maybe, maybe not. Your husband would know the answer to that. Every guy is different and varies from day to day as well.

>>Or will we always have to finish with him getting himself off?<<

Maybe, maybe not. Masturbation provides a guy with a very specific and directed stimulation with a technique that the guy has been practicing since he was a young chap. A guy knows what feels just right to him - he's an expert on how to give himself an orgasm. So he can probably still get himself off when he's finding it difficult to get just the right angle or speed or whatever during intercourse.

>>And why does it take so long the second time? Is it because he doesn't have as much semen in him?<<

A second orgasm is usually thin and watery and not very much volume. The semen does get used up, but that's not really why he takes longer. It just takes a while to build up again. It's all about hormones and chemicals in your body controlling your actions and desires and urges. The "urge" to orgasm is just not as strong as the first time and it takes a while to build up again.

>>Can he have an orgasm without ejaculating?<<
Yes, but probably not very likely. Unless starts practicing tantric sex (which is a style and teaching about sex from ancient India) then he's unlikely to regularly have orgasm without ejeculating. For most guys it's the one and the same thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2000
In reply to: curiousj3
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 11:00am

For most guys, how quick they reach orgasm is tied up with how much of a buildup they have. Once they've had an orgasm and 'flushed the pipes' so to speak it takes a bit for them to get there again. It's possible to have an orgasm without ejaculation, but it's uncommon and usually takes a LOT of stimulation; the male wiring wants to produce something for the effort.

As far as intercourse vs. masturbation, he's going to know what's feeling good for himself which may be the extra push he needs to get there. Maybe you offer to join him and give him a bit of a show to help him get there :-).

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2006
In reply to: curiousj3
Mon, 12-11-2006 - 6:21pm
:) I like when he masturbates because he grabs me and it turns me on too but sometimes I'd like him to come inside of me .. I really like when he does but it doesn't happen often. Even if it's our first time having sex that day/night he often can't come until I've given him oral or he has finished himself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
In reply to: curiousj3
Sat, 01-27-2007 - 5:57pm
If me and my bf go for round two, it always takes him longer, but he always finishes without doing it himself. You just have to gradually build him back up again, and it will take awhile since it's basically starting from scratch, you could say. I don't know about all guys but if I keep at it, my bf almost always comes again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-1999
In reply to: curiousj3
Sun, 01-28-2007 - 7:11am

I'm a male, 56 years old, and I've ejaculated twice in the same sex session only two or three times. I've had ten IC partners over the years, so I guess it's just my pattern. It certainly does not mean that I don't enjoy the intimacy after the first ejeculation. There is still much pleasure and closeness to be shared even without another ejaculation. I've learned to just relax and enjoy.

Greg

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2003
In reply to: curiousj3
Sun, 01-28-2007 - 9:51am

For me it's almost like having my meal after the dessert because I can't orgasm easily the second time around.

The ejaculation/orgasm is the high point, no doubt, but the closeness and pleasure of the contact is what sex is all about! My wife can go a lot longer than I can during the first round, and sometimes it feels like I can't let loose otherwise I'd be letting go permaturely.

Round two can be as enthusiastic as we want it to be. Plus, the added bonus of my semen inside her as a lubricant makes everything just that much more festive. We are pretty much done when she says we're done... I don't have to have that second orgasm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
In reply to: curiousj3
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 9:21am

When I was in high school and college, I could easily go a few rounds. My refractory period was probably about 10-15 minutes before I could regain my erection. However, now that I'm in my 40's, I have a stronger let-down after sex, and I find it very difficult to maintain interest and engage in sexual activity after I have an orgasm---my refractory period now is more on the lines of an hour.

However, when I was younger, I did learn a few techniques. I learned that when you orgasm after intercourse, if you do not pull out and just maintain closeness, cuddle and ever so slowly and gently keep thrusting, it's a lot easier and quicker to become erect again.

It does take patience and willingness for both partners to go for an additional round; and I believe it's a lot more difficult for a man because of that after sex let-down and refractory period, but I remember having a lot more closeness and intense orgasms when ww kept going after our first orgasm.

~SirToppemRat

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2006
In reply to: curiousj3
Mon, 01-29-2007 - 4:15pm
When I was in my early 20's I could do it multiple times in a night. Now in my 40's and the second one is not always a sure thing. What I do like is giving her a good time and it does feel very good for me too. The second time around I have 1 or 2 times I can orgasm and if I hold off for her then I might not be able to have a second O. The other thing if after she has come again she may be worn out and not giving me what I need. She is not really up for doggie at that point and for me thats the best position for triggering an elusive O.