same question kind of but for guys

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
same question kind of but for guys
5
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 6:55pm

ok - so i feel silly talking dirty the way my bf wants me to...i think the problem is the things he wants me to say are so raunchy that to me it sounds contrived and a bit ridiculous. so i am willing to compromise and talk dirty, just not quite on the level he wants.

the problem is, i am SO not creative when it comes to these things, and during sex, i am usually trying to enjoy myself, so laying there thinking of things to say kind of distracts me and takes away from the experience! i need some suggestions....

so guys: any suggestions about things i could say that aren't porn-star ridiculous but will still excite my bf? what kinds of things excite you guys out there? what do your girfriends say that really gets you going? suggestions on something creative and not cliche, but not too over the top either!?

also i need some suggestions on how to initiate sex without feeling weird about it. i have tried just touching and kissing him but sometimes that doesn't work - like it's not enough...and i feel uncomfortable with jumping all over him like he wants me to :p is there any way i could get him to want to without acting like a porn star or a horny teenager? thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 7:42pm

For the dirty talk without being raunchy, when he's doing something let him know in a sexy way/voice how good it feels, how much you love when he does (fill in the blank), how hot he makes you, how you love the feel of his (fill in the blank) when he (fill in the blank).

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2001
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 9:04pm

Given your boy friend's attitude toward sex, I think you need a new boy friend. Sounds to me that he sees you as a living sex toy. You clearly do not enjoy his sexual advances. Does sex with him make you feel good, does it fulfill you, and leave you feeling good about having a relationship with this guy? Based on you posts the answer is probably no. You need to tell him you don't like it and that he should treat you with more respect. You are not his porn fantasy object, you are a woman who is worthy of his respect and he should give you that respect. If he will not you show you respect you should dump him.

I expect if you talk to him about this he will get very upset. If he does that will tell you volumes about his character and how he views you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2007
Wed, 08-01-2007 - 11:08pm

Lets see...

You are so worried about how you might appear, or how you might sound. I don't want it to sound like this, I don't want it to appear as though I am that. The problem is that that is exactly what he wants. He wants what he hears you saying in his head to come out of your mouth. You have to understand that he wants you to let go and be animalistic in your encounters. He may also want to know that your desire for him is as great as his for you. It's hard to be something you aren't and faking will show. Relax and understand you aren't getting an oscar, and Trump wonn't take away your tierra if you let the sex kitten out once in a while.
What is wrong with you jumping his bones the way he jumps yours, are you not entitles to so that. When he desires you so much the he jumps yours how does it make you feel? Wanted? How would you feel if he approached you the way you approach hum. My guess would be does he really want me?
Relax girl, sex is supposed to be fun not an audition for the role of Mary Poppins.

Remember also, he was open with you about asking for this, that is a good thing!

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Solve et Coagu

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Thu, 08-02-2007 - 7:59am

I read the OP's message a few times thinking I might have missed something and I don't see where you come up with

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2007
Sat, 08-04-2007 - 9:56pm
The OP has been sharing aspects of her relationship in other threads and on other boards. Perhaps whoever made those last comments has been watching the other threads progress. If you read the Porn board, you will know what I am talking about regarding the nature of their relationship.