Scared of being on top
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Scared of being on top
| Sun, 12-17-2006 - 6:42am |
Ok well I have always been very shy and even after being with one of my exs for over 2 years I would still get really nervous and do anything to avoid being on top.
I think it has a lot to do with me not liking my body and worrying if I am even doing it right or if it even feels good to him. The only times I have actually tried being on top for a long period of time I was completely drunk. It's not like I am new to sex eathier. I have been seeing this guy for awhile now and I feel I am boring in bed because I wont do this. I need advice on how to get over this.
I think it has a lot to do with me not liking my body and worrying if I am even doing it right or if it even feels good to him. The only times I have actually tried being on top for a long period of time I was completely drunk. It's not like I am new to sex eathier. I have been seeing this guy for awhile now and I feel I am boring in bed because I wont do this. I need advice on how to get over this.

What is there to be scared about? If you can get naked with a man, and have sex with him, you're NOT shy! If you get naked with a man, he's SEEN your body, and whether or not you like it, he must, or he wouldn't come back for more! You get over it by getting over yourself!
Being on top is very simple, there's really no "wrong" way of doing it, and for most men, WOT isn't as much about HIS pleasure as it is about his being able to lie there, letting you do most of the work, and him watching YOU enjoy yourself.
Most women, once they get over all the shyness and foolish fears....learn to LOVE being on top.....because it's the one position where most women can get clitoral stimulation, and "g" spot stimulation....and they can control the movements to get the best stimulation and orgasms they've ever had.
There is no wrong way, but what works for most women is to just kneel over him, (on your knees...if you squat on your heels, your legs will be tired in seconds!) sit on him, and then slowly and sensuously grind into him, moving your hips only, either in a circular motion, or small thrusts. Don't try to jump up and down like a rabbit....that doesn't work. Just slooooowww movements.....grinding against him. Some men will reach climax this way, some won't......and when you get tired, then it's his turn to do his thing.
If you can't just let yourself go and enjoy everything you do, then you're NOT getting the full pleasure of sex. Sex isn't just to please him, it's not about what you look like....it's about PLEASURE for both of you.
1st it is so hard to loose the body image issues, but you must try. This is for you not your boyfriend, it feels so good being on top if you do it right. To me women performe in bed as if their trying to land a secure job with their man, that being said, sex is for you too!!!!! Being on top is one of the most satisifying ways to have intercourse for a woman. Men are not like us, they get turned on by seeing a nipple, so I asure you that your man will get very horny and excitied by seeing you on top whether your a size 2 or 20. They don't pick our bodys like we do, just breath and remember it is a great turn on for him, and you should look at yourself naked and see that you are a sexual creature, maybe even get turned on by looking at yourself..
The trick for women to be on top, is not to thrust up and down, that is ONLY for his benefit. Get on top, an glide or rock back and forth so you can feel him deep inside you and make sure your getting clit stimulation, close your eyes and just move to what ever feels good to you, I promise it will feel good to him also, you don't even have to go up and down for you both to feel it. Use your muscles and tighten up on him as your glideing back and forth.
I hope this helps, just don't want you to miss out on one of the few postions that feels so good to a woman. Good Luck
My suggestion? Stop thinking so much. And especially stop thinking about HIS experience to the detriment of your own!
Stop worrying if he's looking at your cellulite or stretch marks or your less than perfect body. He's NOT! He's enjoying HIS own sensations and feelings.
And no one is perfect, including him. That's all fantasy.
Men worry about their penis size, if they're too fast, if they're hard enough....so the moral is...if you're both preoccupied with yourselves, why bother?
So, once again, my suggestion is stop thinking and start reacting. Start concentrating on what you're feeling and forget what you look like. And turn out the lights before you get on top so you can practice doing that.
Throw your fears, inhibitions and worries out the window (they don't belong in the bedroom)