Screwed up and really like him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Screwed up and really like him...
6
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 10:59am

So I went out Sat night with my friend Dan and his gf. I met them at their house and their friend John was there. I had only met him once a couple months before, but he had had a gf then. So we went out to the bars, and John and I started talking, and we danced all night. He was very sweet and full of compliments. Dan's gf kept telling me how much he liked me and that he was really nice and she hoped we would hook up.

Well, bars closed and we all took a cab back to Dan's house. Yes, we were pretty drunk, so John and I stayed over at their house. We messed around for a while and then went to sleep. Well the next morning, we ended up having sex. Then we got up and went out for breakfast and then Dan's gf gave us a ride home because we didn't have our vehicles there. We were both pretty tired again, and John wanted to stay at my house for a while and take a nap. But I had forgotten that I had to meet some family for lunch. When I got out of the car, he said to call him, but I said I didn't have his number. I told him that Dan had my number and to get ahold of me and left it at that.

So what are that chances that he'll call, since I screwed up and had sex with him the first night? The thing is, I got the impression he wanted to spend all day Sunday with me too, so it wasn't like he was in a hurry to get rid of me. So I think he really may like me. And how long do I wait for him to call before I write him off to being another jerk that just wanted to get laid?

Anyway, I'm just upset with myself because I'd really like to actually get to know him and date him. Any thoughts?

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 4:56pm

Don't beat yourself up over this. You had sex before you really intended to but there's no reason why you can't ask him to slow things down a bit so that you can get to know one another better!

If you like him, then give him a call, since he asked you to, and see if the sparks are still there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 4:57pm
I had sex with my bf the first night that I meet him. When he dropped me how at my house, I asked him if he wanted to get together again some time. He gave me his number. We talked on that phone twice that week. I called him since I had his number. We went out again. That was 15 months ago. We live together now.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Tue, 05-17-2005 - 5:16pm

Sex with him, by what I've read, was not your plan; instead, it just happened, and it sounds like you two simply had a really great time and enjoyed each other's company before sex anyway. Maybe you can try to keep the focus on how well you two got along before the sex instead of worrying how sex may have affected things.

Calling him instead of waiting may not tell you how he may really feel, but at least you'll get the contact going again and hopefully you'll have a clearer idea of where he actually wants to go with this.

Question is, do YOU know where you want this to go? Did you want to continue slowly as you were prior to the sex?, or did you hope that you could conitinue as and actual couple with no limit sex? There's different ways to go with this guy, but I think you should be sure of whatever it is that want from him first. JMO

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 7:52am

No, sex wasn't in my plans that night. But I have never has such an amazing time with someone, and I'm pretty sure he felt the same way. The way he acted/treated me did not say to me, ok this guy ONLY wants to get laid. But when you do sleep with someone the first night, you really don't know what his real intentions are. For me, I would love to see him again and actually get to know him and date him.

The other thing that worries me is that he's somewhat friends with my ex. So in the back of my mind, I'm second guessing myself thinking that maybe he just wanted to get with his friend's ex. I don't know him that well. So that's why I'm leary about calling him. And since John and Dan are best friends, I was just hoping he'd get my number and call me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 10:43am

Well I'm certainly glad to hear that you are appreciating the time you had with him rather than regretting it...you are certainly one of the fortunate ones so far, IMO. :)

Even if he or the new relationship doesn't turn out to be what you hoped, I still don't see, quite yet, a reason for you not to contact him anyway. Just that one phone call itself reveal what you probably needed to know about the situation, whether it be his attention or his tone or even his , heaven forbid.

I'd love to hear that he called you first just like anybody else would, but you know, you like this guy so far anyway, so I don't see too much of any kind of in making at least a 'friendly' move. (Psst...besides, we guys are stubborn, ay?)

Still rather curious how all the others here feel too. Okay, good luck to you. Hoping for good news.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 12:18pm

DH and I had sex on our second meeting. I was 19 and the chemistry was so powerful that we indulged. ;-) He told me that he'd call me the next day, and he did. That was 27 years ago.

So you had sex...you didn't murder anyone and you didn't do anything that HE didn't, so don't worry. If he does call(or you decide to call him)...then say "I'm so happy you called(or "I called...) because I really LIKE YOU and want to get to know you better." This way you're clear about what you want(to date him).




Edited 5/18/2005 1:16 pm ET ET by rain_dancer_iam
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