sex on the 3rd date

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2005
sex on the 3rd date
5
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 7:17am
I'd like some of you opinions about sex on or around the 3rd date. What are your views on it and have you or anyone done it and what came of it?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 8:35am

On the third date? Is that some kind of "rule"? Some people have sex on the first date. Some people wait until they're married. If and when you have sex is up to you, your standards, your morals and beliefs, religious or otherwise.

If you feel you know the person (kind of hard after only 3 dates) and it's a mutual agreement, then do it. If you prefer to get to know the person before you get intimate, then you wait longer.

There are people who have sex on the first date, and wind up married. There are no rules except your own. Sex isn't going to "get" the person, and won't keep them around if they're not truly interested in YOU. Getting involved in sex too soon can cloud your judgement about the person. Females especially can get "attached" very quickly to someone who's really not a good choice.

If someone is interested in YOU, they'll wait as long as they have to for sex. If they're only interested in sex, they won't be around very long. This is a personal choice that you have to make for yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 8:43am

I had sex on our 3rd date with Dh and that was 28 years ago.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2005
Mon, 01-16-2006 - 9:08am

Hi, I am newly divorced and have recently begun dating again. Until the end of my marriage my ex was the only man I had ever been with. Several months ago I met this nice guy and we went out together a couple of times. I enjoyed his company very much, and then he invited me to a lovely occasion for our third date that was lots of fun, but somehow we both lost our sense of self-control and ended up in bed together. Don't get me wrong, I loved the sex, in fact once we started we only stopped when we were both totally exhausted. It was only after we had slept together that I discovered things about him that I wished I had known before. If I had known those things I might not have succumbed to sex so easily. So, while I realize the rules with which I grew up of no sex before marriage don't really work any longer, perhaps rushing into bed with a guy is not a good thing.

Kate

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:11am
I like to know who I'm getting that close to and I have never been able to say that I knew a man that quickly. My DH and I waited for 3 mos. to become intimate. Anything good is worth waiting for, IMO.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Tue, 01-17-2006 - 1:18am

I have little view on it. It depends entirely on you and the guy that you are having the sex with. It can be a good thing and it can "work" - resulting in a stable and excellant relationship. However it can be a "mistake" too. There is no real way of knowing the outcome. It depends on the guy and his morals and standards and expectations.

If you want to have sex on a third date then that is your decision. If he wants to have sex on a third date then that also is his decision. It goes both ways even if there is a double-standard about how "girls should not have sex too soon."