sex and the city Toronto style...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2004
sex and the city Toronto style...
4
Fri, 10-08-2004 - 11:46pm
DOUBLE STANDARD...

I am not an expert on men and relationships but since I dated enough guys all I can say that there is DEFIANTLY a double standard. Two things that I realized about men a) They want us to be slim (and if someone saying that her man doesn't want SHE is lying!!!) b) Men wants us to be hairless (AKA bikini wax/shave). What the hell? what's with the double standard? why men can have love handles but as soon as we gain some weight its the end of the world? I once dated this guy who was obsessed with sizes, to be exact obsessed with size 6. He specifically told me that he doesn't want to date a "chubby woman" and to make his point clear he asked me to drop 10 pounds, ON THE THIRD DATE!!!!! like dude, wake up and smell the coffee ,this guy had love handles that you can hold on to but god forbid you will tell him that.. well he was a little too extreme (LA men you know ..) but a lot of men think they can comment about their women's weight while they walk around with a Santa Clause belly, of course you have those men who work out and look good but those are usually the men who either don't have a girlfriend and spend their all free time at the gym or they have a girlfriend and Still spend all their time at the gym and We DON'T want a boyfriend like that anyways .. so NO win situation..

The second issue is the hair removal...now lets be honest for a second girls, the hair is meant to protect the sensitive areas and just because men read PLAYBOY/watch porn and see a hairless you know what doesn't mean we have to wax/shave. I like to wax but that's my personal preference, I know plenty of girls who won't and that's ok although there are lots of men who wouldn't have sex or go down if a woman doesn't remove the hair.. and I ask that, Do you think we like to go down and have a piece of hair stuck between our teeth? why don't men try to shave or better, try to wax down there... No men will ever wax since it sooooo painful.. so what is that?? why do we have to suffer and go through so much pain just to please our men ??? what's with the double standard?? a friend of mine told me once that she will wax everything the day her husband will wax his balls.. think about that..

Cheers

shirit

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 12:46am
Well, there have ALWAYS been and always will be narcissists who are seemingly blind to their own shortcomings in the world. Nothing new about that, though.

But I DON'T "suffer to please" my man, never have. And I have never asked my DH to do anything that he didn't want to do, just to please me, either.

If I were ever confronted by a guy who would dare suggest that I must do something to change myself, on the 3rd date, well, that would be the last date. Next!

There are many wonderful, mature, loving guys out there though....honestly. I married one. You just have to set your standards high and refuse to settle.

Bottom line, the "world" may put pressure on us to adhere to narrow, unrealistic standards, but we don't have to give in to that pressure, do we?


Edited 10/9/2004 12:57 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 10:56am
I don't think all men are the way you describe, and would certainly never stayed with someone who suggests I loose 10 pounds just to please him (whether it's a 3d date or 333d date). To say that all men care only about having skinny hairless girlfriends is to say all women want a guy with a thick wallet. *shrug*

By the way, I wouldn't want to see him shaved or waxed, but that's just my preference that proves not everybody is the same, be it a man or a woman.

To agree with your theory is to say love doesn't excist, and I can't give in into that kind of thinking. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 11:35am

ALL men are not like what you describe.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2004
Sat, 10-09-2004 - 5:40pm
well as a male that lives in the same city as you do i must say that you are totally making generalizations. I don't expect any of those or say any of those to females nor do i know any friends that fit what you just said.

and please look at both sides too.....i can say many things what some women in toronto expect and it is just as equally as bad as mens expectations