sex and a new relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2004
sex and a new relationship
4
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 2:53am
I would really love your input on this. I've been in a really great relationship with this guy for the past four months. The only issue we ever have is always about sex. He loves it when i go down on him (typical, ha), but it's to the point where he enjoys that more than having sex. We do have sex on a regular basis, but i can't help but think it's only because he knows that i want it. He's never cum during sex either. I know that he is attracted to me, but i can't help but feel pretty crappy. I'm a very sexual person, but i find myself pretty passive when we're having sex because i feel like he's having sex to make me happy more than anything else. True, that could be compared to me going down on him, but i want sex to be something that we both really enjoy... not just me. Any advice would be really great.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 3:37am
What makes you think he isn't enjoying the sex other than a bj? Just because he doesn't cum, doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy it. Could be numerous reasons he isn't having an orgasm. He could be tired. Maybe he masturbates a lot. If he's being doing that, it will affect his ability to orgasm during intercourse. Talk to him and find out from him what he think the reason is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 5:59am

Why do you say that he enjoys bjs more than sex? Has he told you that, or are you just assuming that because he enjoys them so much and hasn't cum during sex? My partner loves bjs, it's one of his favourite things, but he still really enjoys sex. He enjoys bjs so much because it's an entirely different experience from sex. The two are noncomparable.

You need to sit down with him outside the bedroom and address the issues that are bothering you, in a nonconfrontational way, and see what he has to say about them.

Jan

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 7:51am

I agree with Manunit and Jan, just because he loves oral doesn't mean he doesn't love intercourse also.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 01-02-2006 - 9:56am

I'm with the others. You are "assuming" he's not enjoying the sex? Why, because he doesn't ejaculate? Have you asked him why? There are lots of guys who don't ejaculate in certain positions/situations....and that has nothing to do with their pleasure. You "complain" that the only reason he has intercourse is to please you, so that you'll give him what he wants? YEAH, that's usually how it works. You give a little to get a little. Is there something wrong with that? Would you rather he NEVER bothered with intercourse?

You need to do two things....learn to talk to the guy, so that you can communicate.....instead of assuming. And, you need to start enjoying sex instead of keeping score.