sex crazy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
sex crazy
5
Sat, 06-26-2004 - 12:37pm
im 42 and boyfriend is 46, we have been together 6 yrs, well bf likes to drink and smoke dope, and cause of this, sex is the last thing on my mind with him, he says without sex than im not worth anything to him, we argue all the time cause of his habits, and it has came between us, but he says only cause i let it borther me, but he hurts no one doing as he does, he gets free dope from friend and friends sister,bf likes to get drunk and smoke dope and than drive his car, hes been doing it fr yrs, well i cant just ignore it as he says i should ( not bitch at him ) if i love him, he likes to do this and have sex the next day, but its causing problems between us and he dont care, and says im messed up in the head cause i bitch at him over it, i dont know why but his habits are a turn off to me , and sex and our relationship is drowning cause of it
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: anvarn42
Sat, 06-26-2004 - 12:52pm
Hi Anvarn. Doesn't sound like your BF cares about your feelings or how his habits are affecting your relationship so why not move on? That may sound harsh but you can't change anyone but yourself. And you surely can't have an intelligent and productive conversation about change with a man who's using pot and alcohol habitually. Think about it. Either continue to put up with his bad habits and lack of concern or give him an ultimatum.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: anvarn42
Sat, 06-26-2004 - 1:51pm
What's your question? He's an alcoholic and a drug addict. Sounds like a winner to me!

You're not his keeper, and you can't change his habits. Since he's TOLD you that without sex, you're useless to him, If I were you, I'd tell him he's right, and that he's useless to me......and he shouldn't let the doorknob hit him on his butt on the way out! ADIOS!

Avatar for luvmylittleones
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: anvarn42
Sat, 06-26-2004 - 2:15pm
"he says without sex than im not worth anything to him" and this is a good relationship because...? You may love him but he does not love you and he doesn't want to change therefore he won't, I encourage you to leave and never look back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: anvarn42
Sat, 06-26-2004 - 2:23pm

My opinion on this is,


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: anvarn42
Sun, 06-27-2004 - 5:41am
I'm sorry but the answer to this is a no-brainer. The guy has told you that you mean nothing to him if there is no sex. That's a nasty thing to say to anyone. You say you have a relationship with him. A relationship is something that TWO people have. You may have been with him for six years but you have no relationship with him.

The drugs and drinking isn't really the issue. I'm sure that they don't help him think clearly but they are just a side issue and something that distracts you from the real problem. The real problem is that the guy doesn't care about you anymore. He's not interested in what you have to say or even in trying to to make you feel good. Most men at least try to make their woman feel wanted and treat them nice once in a while. He's not even close to doing that.

So what HAVE you got with this guy?