Sex doesn't mean that much...??
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Sex doesn't mean that much...??
| Sun, 12-12-2004 - 1:27am |
If someone you're with for a while, whom you've had sex with, says that if a girl wanted just sex but no relationship and he still cared about her a lot, he would still have sex with her... doesn't that mean the sex doesn't mean that much to him?
I just posed this question to my bf just b/c it was a conversation topic b/w my friends and I. Why do we need to be in a relationship for sex? What if we just don't like the whole emotional stuff attached to it?

"doesn't that mean the sex doesn't mean that much to him?" NO, it means just the opposite...the sex means everything to him, it's the girl that doesn't mean much to him.
Sex without emotions.....it's called FWB......and it doesn't work. Guys can do it, but women usually can't. They say they can, but it never works. Because when they're in a sexual relationship, they want to be more than a booty call.
We hear both genders want those one night stands here and there, but who really knows if that actually means sex isn't really that "meaningful" sorta speak, because that feeling doesn't really have to represent those feelings allll the time anyway.
Sex with a relationship. Well...my wife & I are the types that view sex as the "union" between two bodies, two people. Others view it as nothing more than a fun tickle and a tension relief. She and I are one, with each other only. Others are just satisfied to "feel good" physically, and of course, theres even others who need that quick 'wanted' feeling as well.
Theres SO many different readings on this. Just to answer your curiosity though, of course people can have sex just for the of it without commitment, but not everybody has chosen to accept that. Simple as that in my opinion.
C h a r a c t e r
above all else
Mr. Para
C H A R A C T E R
Some women *can* do the FWB thing successsfully because I know two of them that have been doing it for probably 10 and 15 years. They have their own homes, cars, good jobs, one has been widowed and one divorced and while they have a great deal of affection for their 'friend' and they do things with them, (as anyone does for or with any good friend) they are not in love with them and they do not intend on ever marrying them or even living with them. They like their space and independence and both men involved are fully aware of this and content with the situation. They like their freedom and independence too, lol.
I think the huge difference in this though is that both of these women are older than you - one is in her 50s and one just turned 60. They are not at the stage in their life where they are evaluating men for potential mates and playing the marriage game.
I also know of a couple of young women that have 'sex friends'. They comfort each other when they are between relationships and get together when they are (to be blunt) horny and want a human body as opposed to masturbation. I think it *can* work, but only when both are completely honest and open about expectations. Sometimes you can just have a *good* friend and know it will never work as a relationship/marriage, and yet still enjoy that person physically. There's a certain amount of comfort there between them. But not everyone can do it.
It means sex is sex, the physical pleasure without the relationship attachments.
Hi Poptart:
The first woman I had sexual intercourse was just for sex; just sex does NOT feel the best.
So what you are asking is; as a guy, would I still have sex with a girl if she has said that she doesn't have feelings for me?
Well, the answer would be Yes, I would. Depends on how strong the feelings for her are. If I still loved her, the intimacy that having sex gives would be difficult to give up. Not having sex would mean having to give up one more part of whatever relationship that I felt that I had with her. I don't think that it's restricted to men either. There are plenty of women out there having sex with a man that doesn't 'love' them anymore.
If I only cared for her, then I could probably still have sex with her. A guy's sex drive can be a powerful thing and even the brief sexual and emotional intimacy with someone that you don't have strong feelings for can be very satisfying. Of course a FWB situation can easily get complicated.
If I only cared for her, and didn't want to get into a relationship with her again, then I might avoid having sex to avoid any complications that might arise.