Sex early or later in a relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Sex early or later in a relationship?
9
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 12:41am
Will waiting (9 months to a year) before having sex with your other half help make your relationship last longer? In comparison to having sex with your partner after a short 2-4 months?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 1:09am
It's all relative, there is no one answer for that question. My husband and I had sex after being together for two months, and celebrated our 8th anniversary on Tuesday. Some people marry someone they had sex on the first date with, while others wait until marriage and still wind up divorced. Just because you have sex with someone and it doesn't work out, doesn't mean you will regret it anyway.

Leticia

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 1:20am
Having sex, or not having sex really has no bearing on how long, or IF a relationship will last. You can have great sex in a terrible relationship that doesn't last, and you can have a great relationship without sex.

It all depends on the two people if and/or when you have sex. As Yarn Lover said, some people have sex on the first date, and wind up married. Some people don't have sex at all until they GET married. One thing I would NEVER do is marry someone without knowing what the sex will be like. It could be a disaster if you have different sex drives.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that if a relationship isn't going well, sex will save it. It won't! Whether or not to have sex, and when to have it is up to the individual. What's right for you might not be right for someone else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 5:34am
I had sex with DH on the day we met.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 6:47am
I don't think that's one of the issues that really has anything to do with how long a relationship lasts.

I think though, that young people, esp. women, need to learn how to be discriminating though. Having sex with just every guy you meet, hoping desperately that it will make them 'like' you is the wrong way to go about starting a relationship. And I think too many young people make the mistake of thinking having sex with someone means they are in a serious relationship. *Bzzzz* Wrong answer. It just means you are sexually active with someone. A relationship includes sex (ususally). But sex doesn't always include a relationship.

Tally

**Who for the record had sex with a guy a few weeks after they started dating and married him a year and a half later. And is *still* married to him, going on 20 years later.**

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 7:43am
As the others said, if you have sex right away or down the road, it has nothing to do with the relationship working out or not.

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 12:12pm
Not necessarily. It depends on the persons involved and the circumstances.

My DH and I "consumated" our relationship after 3 mos. or so of dating, because I like to know the person I'm sleeping with.

But it takes hard work and commitment.....CONCRETE, deliberate things to ensure stability and the ongoing success of a relationship. IF those things take place after a one-night stand, and you're both ready to settle down, then it can happen then as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 12:26pm
I agree with everyone else sex doesn't decide if the relationship is going to cause a relationship to last longer then a relationship without sex. My SO and I had sex on our third date. We had been seeing each other almost everyday and had that strong sexual chemistry and just went with it. Since then we've been on and off a couple of times but sex wasn't the reason for our problems. Me and a guy I used to mess around with had great and I mean out of this world don't stop keep it cuming sex but never took it to a level other then to have sex and be friends. We are still friends till this day. I think it all has to do with how you precieve the relationship on how long it will last not just you putting in your 80% and his 20% you both have to put in equal if not more then equal amounts of care, affection, blah, blah in order to get something incredible and long lasting.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 12:55pm
Personally, my BF & I waited a year before we had IC. I don't think it necessarily makes your relationship last longer, that is dependent on MUCH more than sex! But waiting sure does show you if the guy is in it for sex, or for YOU.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 1:38pm
No. I don't think it has anything at all to do with how long you will be together. How long a relationship lasts depends on communication, love, trust, respect, your bond together - things like that. I've known couples who have been married 10+ years who did it on the first date! It has no bearing on how long you will last as a couple.