Sex with ex??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
Sex with ex??
7
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 4:09pm
I need some advice! I am recently divorced (marriage was dead long before), and I have been in contact with an old flame for a few weeks now. We used to date in high school, I lost my virginity to him, and we've kept in touch for the past 10 years. Before I was married and whenever we were both single, we would hook up on occasion and the sex was so good! I went over to see his new apartment last night and we talked, made sexual remarks but nothing happened. I don't have any feelings for him other than we have a history, we've always been there for each other, and he makes me want to jump his bones! I thought about asking him over tonight to see where things lead. I just want sex, and we've done this before as friends and before I was married. Should I go for it?
Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jules1432
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 4:51pm
why not? it sounds like you know where you stand in terms of your feelings and attraction. the only thing i would be careful about would be misleading him...make sure that he doesn't think you are trying to restart a romance if that isn't your intention. if i thought he still had feelings i'd avoid it.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jules1432
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 5:42pm

You can do whatever you want but why would you want to? IF you're trying to separate yourself from someone emotionally, financially and physically, why would you continue to have sex with that person? Seems counterproductive to me. Particularly if your goal is to start a new life.

But as Sugar said, you may know yourself and your own feelings about it, but do you know HIS? That's the question.

Avatar for sugarbeat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jules1432
Mon, 07-10-2006 - 9:11pm
not sure if i read it right, but as far as i understood the person she is considering having sex with is not the person she recently separated from.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jules1432
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 2:34am
You're right! I should read more carefully.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2006
In reply to: jules1432
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 8:19am
No, this definitely isn't my ex-husband we're talking about here! It's an old flame that I've stayed in touch with over the years...
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jules1432
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 9:40am
Sounds like it may have possibilities!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
In reply to: jules1432
Tue, 07-11-2006 - 5:54pm
As long as you both set specific ground rules beforehand on what you both want, then I'd say it all sounds good!