sex fetish

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
sex fetish
3
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 4:13am

my bf seems most interested in sex when i wear my fishnets and 'open for business' naughty panties. while i enjoy costumes/accessories, sometimes i just want to keep things simple and nekkid. am i doomed to wear such get-up to literally get him up? :P i guess i assumed a nude woman was good enough...what can i do to let him appreciate me for just me and not the fetish?

btw, when i bought some lingerie for v-day and surprised him, his response was less than thrilled. apparently he didn't really dig the look. i was SO MAD over the fact that:

1) i wasted ~$70
2) my feelings were hurt--i didn't look sexy and attractive to him.

again, i assumed any man would be thrilled to see their woman in ANY kind of lingerie, or nothing at all. was i wrong to think this way, or is something fishy?

thanks for your input!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: cyan45
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 7:50am

If he has a true fetish to these things and it's not just something he really enjoys, it's possible he NEEDS these things for sexual arousal, enjoyment and gratification.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: cyan45
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 8:59am

Welcome to the board, cyan45.

As Tish said, if it's a true fetish, he does need those things for arousal. Since true fetishes are also psychologically based, there is a chance a therapist can help him work through that, but first he has to want to work through it.

Have you talked to him about how you feel? Maybe let him know that you're okay doing this sometimes, but that you also want to do what you enjoy sometimes. Perhaps by talking to him, you'll learn if this is a true fetish -or- the two of you will be able to reach a compromise.







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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2006
In reply to: cyan45
Thu, 04-24-2008 - 12:18pm
thanks cl-misty mae & tish--i'm a little clueless about all this, so your insights into sexuality and men really helped a lot!!!