sex on the first night
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| Tue, 08-23-2005 - 12:22am |
The other night, the same guy I met a month ago left the club with this female he had just met. That same night they had sex...and are continuing to have sex. What gets me is, when I hung out with him I did not have sex with him, but I was into him.
Now I am wondering if I should have been a h*e like her and had sex with him the first night I met him...then maybe he would continue to talk to me, etc. like he is doing with her.
I don't understand it...I guess it's ok to be a h*e and have sex with someone you just met...then maybe something more will develop.
Then he also had the nerve to say he's celibate, but he had sex with the biggest s**t in town...she has sex with guys she first meets all the time.
I don't want to be like that...but dag, if you don't have sex on the first night you lose out, and if you do, you're still s*it out of luck because he probably won't call back.

Having sex the same night you meet someone.....doesn't make you a whore. There are women who've done that and wound up happily married to the guy! Whatever YOUR standards or morals are, that's what YOU do.....but don't judge others because they have different morals or standards.
Having said that....you're jealous of her because she had sex with him and she's "got" him and you don't? (wondering how you know that? Did you hear it from him? And if you did.....how would you like it if he was telling everyone about it if it was YOU?) Why would you WANT him if all he's looking for is sex? He obviously doesn't have the same morals and standards that you do.
If a guy is truly interested in you, he will hang around whether or not you have sex with him. If he moves on because you won't have sex with him....then why would you want him anyway? He wanted SEX, not a relationship with you.
You need to stop judging other people! Other people don't have to follow your standards, only you do. You're smart enough to know not to jump into bed with just anyone...and you try to develop a relationship before you get sexually involved. One day, you'll meet someone who has the same standards you do, and he'll respect you for it.
She may "have" the guy, but what has she got? A guy who has no respect for her, if he's telling everyone she had sex with him. You're better off without him. Don't concern yourself with what he calls himself, or who he sleeps with......it's not your business.
sounds like he's not a very nice guy.
So, WHY do you regret your relationship being over?
As far as I'm concerned, if it isn't a good fit, might as well get it over with as soon as possible and move on.
Compromising your values to "make" someone else like you is completely foolish. IF it works, they are liking a false you. What's your plan then? Wait until you get married and then show your true nature? At some point, you will get tired of living a lie, and have to revert to your true nature. That's what we call a "Date and Switch", and likely to make at least two people miserable and a divorce lawyer rich.
Be who you are, don't compromise your values, and you will live a much happier life. You may not date as many people (and have sex with even fewer), but you will probably find the ones you do date a lot higher quality. Personally, I'd much prefer to be alone than with the Wrong Person.
Is there anything wrong with sex on the first date? No, I don't think so BY ITSELF. At least as long as everyone understands what is going on. On the other hand, I've met at least one woman who confused "orgasm" with "love" (apparently, she figured that only True Love could cause orgasms). My GF and I had sex within two hours of first meeting in person, and have been together for going on two years now...but then, we are both old enough to be your parents if the "24" in your name has to do with your age. We understand what it means. (not that age and knowing what it means have anything to do with each other. I'm not sure a 16 year old has any idea what it means, but I know some 40+ people are equally clueless). We talked about it, we understood what it ment, we had fun, and we have no regrets about it. Few spend the time to talk about it first, however. And neither of us consider the other a "h*e".
Let's not judge others!
No one knows what goes on between two people behind closed doors BUT the people involved. No one knows if he really slept with this girl or even if this girl deserves this reputation she's been given. I've known many people who were judged unfairly based on the jealousy, ignorance and resentment of others, many times.
IF you missed out on the guy for being YOU, then he obviously wasn't the guy for YOU.
Edited 8/23/2005 10:50 am ET ET by katmandoo2001