Sex with him or no sex at all?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2010
Sex with him or no sex at all?
46
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 2:46am

Hello,

I'm getting 41 this march, I have two children and a husband. My husband cheated on me 2

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 7:18am

Sure. Why not have sex with your husband. Just be sure to use a condom. Does he still see this other woman? I can understand staying together for the children, but what about going out with some girlfriends and trying to meet another guy? You say the marriage is over, so it's time to move on.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2010
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 5:22pm

No, he doesn't see her and hasn't since those 2 1/2 years. I don't know if he still hopes we'll make it, he probably does.

Of course it could be time to move on - only I don't go out except with my family. Here in our small town there are no guys it would be worth meeting, or no guys I'm interested in...and those guys I'm interested in are not available or wouldn't be interested in me. Hopeless case, right?:smileylol:...guess I will go on dreaming and if it gets too hard I'll make use of my husband (OMG, what a terrible sentence!).

I have to lose weight before I even dare looking at another man. Today I caught a glimpse of myself in a window - what a wobbly, huge face....simply disgusting.

I really hope I'll have the discipline for doing some sports and then keep it, just gained another 5 kg over Xmas and New Year.

Thanks for encouraging me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2006
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 5:28am

We have to take care of ourselves in every way, no one else will do it for us.

Are you okay?

 Rich, good to the last drop

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 02-12-2012 - 1:00pm

To motivate you into healthy eating and exercise: think of hot younger men as lovers and how satisfied you will be with lovers that desire you as you desire them.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2012
Mon, 02-13-2012 - 5:12pm

Either work on fixing things between the 2 of you or move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2007
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 2:22pm

Well I believe life is a journey and it's best if you have companionship along the way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2012
Fri, 02-24-2012 - 2:25pm

First, don't let your age influence your thoughts so much. I'm 65 and having a great time with a local 31-year-old (with my husband's permission.)

A lot of people will disagree with this, but if you're going to stay together but not have a sexual relationship, why not look into swinging. Belieive me, you're just getting into the right age group for swinging. Take a look at www.babyboomerssexguide.com and see what you think. It might not be right for you, but it is an option I thoroughly enjoy. Plus, my relationship with my husband has never been better.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2010
Sat, 02-25-2012 - 9:10am

Hello,

I haven't been here for a while, so I have to apologize for not having answered yet.

My problem is still there but spring seems to have quite a positive effect on me (like every year): I'm determined to lose some weight now, I have started taking care of myself again. I even mixed my individual mineral makeup and at the moment I'm creating some new lipsticks in different shades.

There is still no sex in my life and I guess I won't have some with my husband at the moment, but, to be honest, I enjoy this little crush I have on that young man. It won't lead nowhere but this doesn't matter at all. I'm looking forward to seeing him and I enjoy his company. I feel there is a connection between us but I cannot say what kind of it is. I won't embarras my children nor my husband, nobody will ever know about this. If he is interested I will know somewhen and if not it is okay as well. In the meantime I'm trying to lose weight and go on taking care of myself.

Maybe even someday my husband and me will come back together again, I'm absolutely open to that, but now I want to enjoy a bit of personal freedom, even if it is only in my head. It is not that I want to take revenge by saying it is my turn now, but because I deserve it because of all those bad years I had.

Thanks for being there for me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2010
Sat, 02-25-2012 - 12:25pm

Hi holistic101, thanks for the link! I need to read all of this. Swinging is nothing I am interested in, never had any interest and won't have any, I guess. But I am definitely interested in developing this hornyness, like xxxs said. It feels so great to feel anything in this area down there but it seems I'm restricted to those few days per month where my hormones are in balance. Of course it helps a lot if I see this young guy but it is a catastrophy how my libido has decreased. I don't even know what a normal libido feels like. If I hear that people have sex several times per week I just cannot believe it. I'd like to get this feeling where you just cannot wait anymore (well, at the moment I sometimes feel that way, but it is only that young man I want to have sex with).

I know things don't have to go down the drain when you get older but even if I am kind of high spirited at the moment there is always my age, my body as a big fat truth in my life. I wonder if I ever get over this.

pjf

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 02-25-2012 - 2:28pm

Allow no negative thinking!

chaika

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