sex with new boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
sex with new boyfriend
39
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 8:52am

So I had sex with my new man for the first time last night! And first let me say, wow, is it different to sleep with someone you truly care about. :)

Anyway, we had talked previously and we were both STD tested before we got together, and we're all clear as far that goes. And we discussed being exclusive (honestly I'm going to marry him someday). Well, we never discussed birth control, although I'm on the pill. So anyway, last night he unloads inside me! Not that I minded, but considering he never asked if I was on the pill and he didn't use a condom, I was just very surprised.

Any thoughts????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2005
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 8:56am

Wow...I would have been surprised too. Maybe he assumed you were on the pill or patch or whatever since you started having sex without a condom in the first place. Or maybe he meant to pull out before he came but got too caught up in it, then felt embarassed after to say anything. I think you should let him know though you ARE on the pill, just in case if he's worrying about it you can put his fears to rest.

On a side note, have you always had a guy come inside you while you're on the pill? I never used to, but want to now. It's still safe, right (as far as pregnancy goes)?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 9:04am

I've only had 2 boyfriends that would come inside me. But otherwise the rest of them always pulled out even when they knew I was on the pill. But yeah, the pill is over 99% effective. I'm 27 and never gotten pregnant.

I personally would rather he come inside. I think it just seems a little more romantic than him pulling out and unloading all over your stomach. Know what I mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 9:08am

The pill is safe against pregnancy


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 9:48am

Maybe he "assumed" that since you two discussed everything openly before you did it, that you are on birth control of some sort. Bad move on HIS part.....what if you weren't? What if you were trying to get pregnant to "trap" him? It happens a lot.

Or maybe he's one of the "new breed" that doesn't mind having babies all over town!

Thinking about the discussions you must have had, STD testing, exclusivity, I can't imagine why b/c didn't come up at that time!

Whatever, lucky you that you ARE protected. It IS your responsibility, because it's your body, and your life.

If it was me, I'd have to ask him why he took that risk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2005
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 10:19am
Hahaha, you're definitely right, the first option does sound just a TAD more romantic ;)
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 10:29am
We actually like the stomach thing. Once in a while he will really cum a huge amount on my belly and then for the next 10-15 minutes we will both smear it all over my torso. Then after several minutes it dries up. I like having our hands covered with it together. I also like to watch the way he continues to stroke himself after he cums.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 10:36am

I love your word "unload". Did you coin that just to get around the message board police ? LOL

I imagine him sitting on the side of the bed and taking the 6 live shells out of a revolver...........

Big

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 10:44am
LOL, well what else do you call it! I personally like that term, hehe.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2005
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 12:52pm
I agree. I think I will start using the word "unload," too. Hehehe!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 2:14pm

Honestly, in my experience, I be more surprised if my partner ejaculated *on* me or beside me, rather than *in* me. I never had a guy ask if he could come inside me. I suppose I assumed, and he assumed, that there would be no interruptions of sex at that critcal moment, once we'd gotten that far. And it's not like withdrawal is a BC method!!

I'm also surprised that you plan on marrying this guy and yet never told him or talked to him about BC. That should be a first discussion, along with the STD discussion.

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