sex with new boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
sex with new boyfriend
39
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 8:52am

So I had sex with my new man for the first time last night! And first let me say, wow, is it different to sleep with someone you truly care about. :)

Anyway, we had talked previously and we were both STD tested before we got together, and we're all clear as far that goes. And we discussed being exclusive (honestly I'm going to marry him someday). Well, we never discussed birth control, although I'm on the pill. So anyway, last night he unloads inside me! Not that I minded, but considering he never asked if I was on the pill and he didn't use a condom, I was just very surprised.

Any thoughts????

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 2:15pm
Board police? You can use the word ejaculate or come (or cum, as some prefer to spell it) on this board, for heaven's sakes!!!


Edited 8/17/2005 2:16 pm ET ET by tally33
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 9:30pm

I've usually done the *beside* or *on* thing the first time with somebody new. Seems to clinical to ask about *in* or *not in*. Then once we've both *come* together it all seems far more intimate and its easier to talk about it. In my experience they have had mixed feelings, most didn't WANT intercourse but wouldn't say *no* so were happier to just pleasure & be pleasured.

Big

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 9:34pm

i think i better start using the word "unload" too as sometimes that's what it is. I find the second time is usually better...less urgency, different pace. The second time isn't an "unloading" its much more "making love"

Big

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 1:07am
Never had a guy ask me that either!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 6:51am

Really. I find that so wierd. I asked my sister and BF last night too, and they said the same as me, in their experiences. We all agreed that if you're to the point of allowing this guy to put his penis inside you, why is the ejaculate too intimate or whatever???

I would think things were strange if he pulled out at the last minute and came on the bed (because again, withdrawal has NOTHING to do with BC), but if a guy came ON me the very first time we were together without asking, there wouldn't be a second time.

Is this a thing for younger people? Why, I wonder?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 8:33am

I'm thinking it's very common for younger people. Almost all my previous partners would pull out. The only one that didn't, I dated for 4 years.

I think also that because these days guys are deathly afraid of getting a girl pregnant so they believe pulling out it added protection even with her on the pill. Also, with sex being so casual these days, it seems less intimate to pull out and cum on the girl, than it is to cum inside her.

That's just my opinion....

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 9:33am
I think that Emily Post would say it's proper etiquette during the first sexual encounter to ask the lady for permission to ejaculate inside her. Even though depositing inside is the male's prime objective.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2003
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 10:39am
wow. i just had sex for the first time ever yesterday !!
HigH 5! lol --but at least you have feelings for him & thats all what makes sex better than ever !
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 10:40am
Well, it seems to me that in the age of deadly STD's that all that should be discussed BEFORE the situation arose! Whether you're polite about it or not seems pretty trivial.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 11:03am

Tally, I shud have explained better. My first time with a new woman I tend to, uh, prematurely ejaculate, so yes, I have cum *on* her. As I admitted, I've usually done the *beside* or *on* thing the first time with somebody new.

But we've both *come* it seems to easier to talk about it. I'm almost 58 so maybe I am talking about an older generation (at least I am).

I'm sorry to hear that if a guy accidentally came on you instead of in you that you wouldn't give him a second chance to pleasure you. If that's the case you might miss out on a wonderful lover.

Big