sex with new boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
sex with new boyfriend
39
Wed, 08-17-2005 - 8:52am

So I had sex with my new man for the first time last night! And first let me say, wow, is it different to sleep with someone you truly care about. :)

Anyway, we had talked previously and we were both STD tested before we got together, and we're all clear as far that goes. And we discussed being exclusive (honestly I'm going to marry him someday). Well, we never discussed birth control, although I'm on the pill. So anyway, last night he unloads inside me! Not that I minded, but considering he never asked if I was on the pill and he didn't use a condom, I was just very surprised.

Any thoughts????

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 11:08am

Even after all the discussion before hand I still ask when the cumming is imminent, "is it ok if I ejaculate inside you?". Its habit with me, I guess, 1966 thru present. Condom or not.

Some women have found it very gentlemanly, others thought it was weird or unnecessary.

But then some women that I have taken out to fine restaurants have cut their food with the side of their fork & the knife has lain untouched thru the whole meal.

Big

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 11:12am
I've never had a guy ask if he could cum in me. Most often he pulled out. I had one boyfriend ask if I was on the pill, I said yes, he came inside everytime. But I'm sure guys prefer coming inside over pulling out, right?
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 12:17pm
Is this done based on the false belief that it will prevent pregnancy? If so, then that's a myth that needs to die quickly!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 6:45pm

>>Any thoughts????<<

He must have thought that you were on the pill after all these discussions about STD's and not using condoms once it was clear that you were both STD-free. I think that it's strange that he did it without knowing for sure that you were on the pill. Really odd. Maybe he's seen a packet of BC pills on the dresser?

As for pulling out and ejeculating on your stomach? I think that there are a lot of young people out there that think that it is an effective form of birth control. They want intercourse but simply can't bring themselves to ask the "embarrassing" questions like "Are you on BC? Can I cum inside you?". I think that withdrawing is seen as a viable alternative. Believe it or not.

There are an awful lot of young people out there that don't know the real facts about sex and birthcontrol and there are a lot that simply aren't talking to their partners about anything either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 7:32pm
Pulling out must have -some- modest bc effect because we have been doing that for 5 months and I haven't gotten pregnant. Now I am on the pill and it is good to finally not think about it. Once I casually remarked that I was not on bc, and after that he just pulled out every time. I'm not sure why one of the other posters said if the guy chose to cum on you she'd dump him. Where do you want him to cum, if not in you and not on you? On the sheets? On the pillow? In the ashtray? I don't really understand.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 7:48pm

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 9:03pm

>>Pulling out must have -some- modest bc effect because we have been doing that for 5 months<<

Oh yeah, of course it has an effect. You're not getting a full load of semen dumped in you.

But on the other hand, with guys having less than perfect timing, pre-cum that does contain some sperm, guys that aren't overly concerned with the consequences, and the fact that there are plenty of mothers out there that used this method....

Let's just say that the consequences of doing it this way and NOT getting yourself on a readily available, simple and effective birth control like the pill are serious and, umm..., life-long.

Everytime you do it, you are taking a risk of getting pregnant. And if you're not ready to be a Mum, then why on earth take that risk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 9:24pm

<>

Not always. Sometimes we want to "unload" on your belly or across your chest to demo quantity (volume), colour, texture. Maybe we think you might want to play with it like one other poster said...spread it around her torso, feeling it stiffen and gluing her hand to her SO's hand.

True, the bio-urge is to dump it inside but frankly good head or a handjob is more-intense.

Big

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 1:42am
GF, you've been extremely lucky for 5 mos. but pulling out is NOT safe. It only takes one sperm to make a baby and your luck WILL run out, I guarentee it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Fri, 08-19-2005 - 7:05am

I think by now I could tell the difference between a man who comes so fast he's ejaculated on me before he's entered me, and a man who pulls out and jacks off the last few strokes to come on me.

While DH and I have done the ejaculation-outside thing as variety over the years, I think that I would be offended if a guy did the porn movie thing the very first time. That's JMO. Since missing out on a new lover isn't an issue for me, and hasn't been for over 20 years, I don't care. I'm allowed to have my own personal preferences anyway. Before I was married, guys would say 'Are you on the pill?' and if I said yes, they didn't pull out (maybe we were better educated about BC back then. We didn't think pulling out prevented pregnancy - in fact we were taught that there were more sperm in pre-ejaculate than in the rest). If anyone is that worried about pregnancy, how about using a CONDOM instead of taking that chance.

But anyway. It's just so funny to me that people think "I'll get naked with you, and I'll suck your .... and we'll have sex, but coming inside me is just TOO intimate. I don't know you well enough." Something that's hard for me to get my head aroung - people that will perform oral sex (on him, of course) as casually as kissing, on a first date, but concluding sex the normal way is too intimate.