Sex not great...any suggestions?
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| Sun, 12-10-2006 - 4:43am |
Hello...just thought I'd put this out there...I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, living together for 2 years. When we first got together I noticed that he didn't seem to get as, um, hard as previous boyfriends or ex-husband but I didn't have a lot of experience (just a few partners) and you know, we always hear that it happens from time to time. There have really only been a few times, though, over the past few years where he has gotten really hard. A lot of the time, he's sort of soft and the sex only lasts for a few minutes. I know I should have talked to him about this a long time ago, but I never wanted to make him feel bad...or if it was an emotional thing for him, I didn't want to make it worse. Now I'm at the point where I feel he needs to do something about it. See a doctor, talk to someone, try something new, whatever. I'm not asking for much, just longer sessions, less flacid.
I don't even know if he thinks there IS a problem. He has had fewer partners than I have and that's not very many. He may think that this is 100% normal, in which case he is depriving HIMSELF as well as me.
Any suggestions on how I could broach this subject without hurt feelings? If he is embarrassed or feels humiliated at all, he will completely shut down so I want to avoid that. Thanks in advance!
Julie

Tell him to go swim laps in a pool for an hour. He will be a able to hump you with power and stamina.
Have fun : )
You can either bring up the subject, or just let things go the way they are. It's your choice. If you've been with him for three years, living with him for two, there shouldn't be ANYTHING you can't discuss.
Is he on any kind of medications? BP pills are notorious for causing erection problems, as well as antidepressant meds.
How long since he's had a physical? There are things that can cause a less than hard erection....like diabetes, blood pressure, prostate problems....and he should be checked for those things. Have you asked if he's always been like this, or it's just since he's been with you?
It could very well be that he's always been like this. If he satisfies you during foreplay with oral and manual clitoral stimulation, then it won't matter so much if he's soft and fast. There are LOTS of things that might be going on, and if he's checked, and nothing is wrong, then it's just the way he is, but he CAN pleasure you in other ways than just intercourse.
Julie---
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