Sex surrogates--helpful or unnecessary?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sex surrogates--helpful or unnecessary?
7
Thu, 10-25-2012 - 11:36pm

TO ALL-

I just wanted to know what people here think of sex surrogates. I think for most conditions they treat, they're unnecessary.

Older virgins need to learn how to lower anxiety, to learn dating skills, and to confront misconceptions. A regular cognitive behavioral therapist helps with this. Also, I think it would be better to be the first time with someone who genuinely cares and isn't on the clock, especially for women. For premature ejaculation in men and inability to orgasm in women, practice by oneself often works to correct the problem with a partner. I don't know enough about treating other conditions, but I also sense one doesn't need a surrogate.

I have seen photos and videos of male surrogates and they seem sleazy to me. Years ago, I thought of using a female surrogate. (I'm male) I spoke with one over the phone and she was bitchy. That dissuaded me from pursuing the idea further.

The number of sex surrogates in the USA has fallen dramatically since the 1970's. Many remaining female surrogates are over 60 years old. It has fallen out of favor in general. However, there has been a recent movie with Helen Hunt generating a buzz and also a higher percentage of clients are female than in the past.

So, what do other people think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2012
Fri, 11-16-2012 - 2:24pm

Maybe you can google and stream it? I don't really know how that works. By the way, what "system"? Lol. If my posts trigger the profanity filter one more time, i think I might have to spank myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Thu, 11-15-2012 - 11:19pm

Thanks. Unfortunately,  I just saw this message now. With iVillage's new system, I've had trouble lately getting into the forum.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2012
Tue, 11-13-2012 - 1:23pm

CBS News is doing a special on sex surrogates tonight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2012
Mon, 11-05-2012 - 9:35am

OK, in that case, I think there are definitely people who would benefit from such an arrangement. Some people are very awkward and insecure due to lack of experience and/or negative past experiences. Being in the company of someone who has their best interests in mind and will not undermine them emotionally could be a huge confidence builder. BUT, it seems to me that a person who requires such "therapy" would also be a prime candidate for falling in love or believing they have with this "therapist". And that would lead to feeling of rejection which of course defeats the whole purpose. I think it's a nice idea but possibly better in theory than in practice. That said, how do I get in on this? I was born to be a sex surrogate, lol.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sun, 11-04-2012 - 9:33am

 Mav-

Hi. Sex surrogates essentially act as sex partners for unattached people with sex related problems. The differences between them and prostitutes are 1)they don't ordinarily jump in bed the first meeting, but work their way during subsequent sessions up to full sex, and 2)the experiences with the surrogate are intended to prepare the client for a normal relationship.

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2012
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 3:18pm

Ummm, could you more clearly define "sex surrogate"? I've never even heard that term before but you've definitely peaked my curiosity. Actually, it sounds a lot like prostitution? I was listening to the radio the other day and heard about this college girl who actually rents herself out by the hour just for "cuddling sessions" with lonely men, lol. Nothing but cuddling and apparently, she's doing quite well for herself. I'm considering a career change.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Mon, 10-29-2012 - 2:17am
I think "What the ...?" It's a warm fuzzy idea that is just plain weird. I can't see how it is a good thing. It's an artificial situation that must cause just as many, if not more, problems than it solves.