sex that time of the month

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2005
sex that time of the month
10
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 6:52pm
Not sure if this is the place to ask this question-but do most people have sex during a women's period? When you are with a new partner- how does one bring it up to find out how the guy feels about this? It's always a little uncomfortable for me to bring it up, and I certainly feel pretty frisky this time of the month.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 7:04pm

I don't know what most do, some do, some don't.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2005
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 1:09am

I just asked what my DF did with previous girlfriends to start the conversation. Worked like a charm. Personally, the first couple days, I'm really not up to it -- crampy (yes, I know it can help alleviate cramps, though it hasn't in the past), kicks up my acid reflux, etc. Plus it's pretty heavy and soooo much messier then. After that, it's on. DF prefers not to visit the "garden of eden" during the monsoon, but is okay with some rain, so to speak. However, my pilates instructor has a very heavy flow but she and her BF carry on as normal and change nothing in their routine. Just depends on the guy and gal involved.

As Tish said, there are the Instead cups. I knew a psych professor who had some for a sex therapy class and they basically look like diaphragms. She had used them and said they worked just great (but warned to be sure to remove over a toilet or in the shower to assist with the inevitable flow).

Pesky.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 2:41am
Current man was adamant he was gonna "get some", even though he knew period was there. If your cycle is a subject that you discuss normally, then beginning the sex/period discussion shouldn't be an issue. Or you may just wait until "he's unwilling to stop". I get very horny after the first day (sorry, no cramping here), so having sex during it is no big deal for me. Though it's not for every man - my XH didn't allow it so it's never been anything I've ever pushed for. However, it definately is something you have "to be in the mood for" because, in our case, it is messy (specially for him/bed) and it requires a little extra care both before and after. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2005
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 8:47am

What most people do is not really the issue...it's you and your partner that matters.

The way you bring it up is talking about it. Well...either that, or get him frisky, then surprise him with your pad/string/whatever, not sure I'd recommend that route. :) Letting your guy know you are frisky at that time of the month is a pretty good way to get his interest. ;) Us guys LOVE to hear our partner is frisky.

There is lots to sex other than intercourse. There are lots of options...one woman I was with was able to achive orgasm through her panties and her pad by my thrusting my penis over her panties (teenage dry-humping style), she'd finish me by oral (though I could have finished that way, myself, had I not been concerned about pregnancy). I've had a few opportunties to perform oral on women during their periods -- insert a tampon, shower, and start licking -- all is just fine. This isn't a fetish or "odd" activity -- the licker doesn't get a mouth full of blood (at least, I haven't). The tampon does its job, the tongue does its job, and everyone is happy. The smell is a bit stronger, but I've never found it a big deal at all, and her reaction has been good enough that it would have to be one heck of a big deal to slow me down... Apparently some people use the period as the time for anal sex, though I'm not sure that I'd recommend that -- if you are into anal, do it "whenever", if you aren't into anal, doing it during her period sounds almost like a punishment (GF has a friend who does that...and she's somewhat resentful of it, it sounded like).

Of course, straight intercourse is also an option. Others have commented on that (and I haven't had the opportunity, current GF is past that part of her life), so I'll stay out of areas I haven't experienced.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 7:20pm
The Ideas on here are great but really the best thing is to just tell him you are on your period when he wants to do something and see if he is ok with it if he isn't you aren't going to do anything anyways. either way he can say yes or no at anytime.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 7:54pm

We tried that once when we were first dating. Not our thing at all. We had sex in the tub and I thought it would be cleaner...not so. I have a thing about needing to be clean for sex and to smell nice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2005
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 12:45pm

I agree. Its just like non-period sex, either of you may or may not feel like it. If the woman lets the guy know she's eager and available despite a little mess than either he will or he won't.

In my experience, vaginal intercourse has been sometimes a bit too slippery to get me off. Sometimes the woman has been too embarrassed about the mess. This can interfere with doing adequate foreplay to get her to the point that she wants to be at for penetration. I had one GF who slept pad-free/tampon-free with several layers of dark-coloured bathtowels covering the bed. This was also her sign that she was available anytime during the night. And we did...very often.

My DW is a bit overly-self-conscious right now because of heavy flow. At best she comes to bed with pad & underpants and might allow a single finger just under the upper edge of the pad but certainly no probing. Occasionally she will do me orally or by hj but prefers I wait until its all over with and then get back to normal activities.

I don't mind doing oral on women during their periods. Tampon,shower or bath,lick. There's a slight change in taste...its not offensive...I call it the "rusty nail" taste, its the carpenter in me !

Big

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 1:40pm

Yes, we have sex during my period....even oral. I leave it up to his discretion each and every time; it's his decision, it's his body.

I think it just comes naturally(the convo, that is). If sex is imminent, you simply announce that you have your period. He'll either pass or not. I still "leave" the decision up to him each and every time I have my period, just in case for whatever reason, he's just not up to it. He's never declined in 27 years.

Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 5:37pm

We don't have sex when I'm in my period. I tend not to feel "frisky" right before or during but right after....look out! Of course, mine only lasts 3 days, so it's not a big sacrifice for either of us.

But even if your guy isn't into extra messy intercourse during your period, you can always indulge in some manual or oral stimulation (with a tampon in place) and still satisfy one another.

Not every guy enjoys it during his partner's period and not every woman feels comfortable with it either. But it is a fact of life so you shouldn't feel uncomfortable bringing the subject up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2005
Thu, 08-18-2005 - 11:44pm

we do not stop having sex but no oral from him, he seems to get frisky that time of the month knows almost when i am due, gets. touchy feely teasing i enjoy his advances we do a lot more than most couples i know.

kate