sex for too long...
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| Tue, 07-12-2005 - 2:04pm |
okay - so I have a pretty healthy sex drive, but when my bf and I have sex, it takes him forever and sometimes (maybe 40%) he doesn't actually have an orgasm. I know this is common in women, but now I'm feeling like I can sympathize with teh guy who's girlfriend doesn't reach orgasm during their trysts. I'm starting to wonder what I might be doing wrong or what I could do better. He says he's happy with what I do, and that he feels great and that he just is this way (takes a long time and sometimes doesn't "arrive.") Still, I also feel like I don't have the stamina for these long-lasting sessions. Anyone have experience with the endurance-rounds and what can add-to/improve/speed up/make more interesting? Or guys, is it just going to be steady stead over a long period of time, or will mixing things up throw him off course?
I don't think he'll ever need viagra - that's for certain.

There's nothing you can do, because HE's the one with the problem, not you. For some reason, he's subconciously holding back, and when he gets over that, he'll be fine. He may not even know why, but this is his doing, and only he can fix it. He might feel guilty, he might be afraid of getting you pregnant.....there could be a lot of reasons why it's happening. It could be nothing more than nerves, or a self fulfilling prophecy.....it happens once, the next time he worries that it will happen again, and of course, it does. Tell him to relax, and don't YOU make a big deal out of it.
If it goes so long that you're exhausted, or sore, then tell him it's over, and then do it manually or orally for him, or let him do it himself. Either way, he won't die. If you both just ignore it, it will probably take care of itself.
No man (or woman) ever died from lack of orgasms. They're not the reason you're having sex.....they're a bonus for doing it right. It happens, or it doesn't.....and the less to-do you make about it, the faster it will take care of itself.
Because if a man can masturbate to climax and ejaculation, then there is NO physical reason why he can't do the same with a woman. If there is no physical reason for it not happening, that leaves only an EMOTIONAL reason. Some men can't get an erection, doctors have ways of testing if there is a physical reason for that. If no physical reason can be found, then it's NOT a physical problem, it's a subconscious reason.
Emotional means subconscious....that part of the brain over which you have very little control. Something buried DEEP within your brain, that maybe even YOU aren't aware of. Something you were taught in childhood. Some trauma that happened to you. Those memories are buried deep in your brain, and they CAN control your conscious behavior. Usually it has to do with fear.....in this case, fear of pregancy, fear of inadequacy, or fear of failure.
Here's a quasi-scientific explanation of the subconscious part of your brain. http://theselfimprovementsite.com/article.php/20050417142250313