Sex under the influence?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2005
Sex under the influence?
6
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 2:24pm
Something I have always wondered about is sex while under the influence of alcohol, in regards with my current girlfriend. We are sexually involved with each other, so its not like we are having sex only when drinking. But every so often, we will have several drinks, and we sometimes find ourselves getting frisky with each other, and having a time in the bedroom. Its not too often this happens, as its usually out of the blue. My question is, does there become a point where this can be a problem? If so, what would that point be? Why is it reached? etc...
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Mon, 01-23-2006 - 2:50pm

I don't think it would be a problem if it's only occasionally. Alcohol lowers the inhibitions, and some people need that to be able to "let go", especially with a new partner. You've been together for a while, and it doesn't sound like there's a problem when you're (or she's) sober......is there?

If it's happening too often, that might become a problem, not just with the sex, but with the whole relationship. Too much dependence on alcohol can be a big problem. But, I guess you'd have to make that judgement. If you feel it's too often, then talk about it. If it's just occasionally, and the sex is fine without the alcohol, then I wouldn't worry about it.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 3:30pm

Not sure what you're asking? It's not as if you MUST be under the influence to have a good time together, is it? And you have an established relationship with her so there's no trust issue as there would be with strangers. So, what's your concern with an occasional romp in the hay with your GF after drinks?

My DH and I often end up having a high old time in bed after a night out complete with drinks after dinner. Don't see when it would become a problem unless you HAD to have the alcohol to enjoy one another sexually.

If neither of you indulge in activities, under the influence, that you later regret, then I wouldn't be concerned. Moderation is the key in all things though.




Edited 1/27/2006 3:31 pm ET by katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 01-27-2006 - 4:21pm

Agreeing with Dakine and Kat, as long as there aren't any problems sexually when you/her are sober, there's nothing wrong with an occasional drunk romp.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Sat, 01-28-2006 - 9:02pm
My guess is your question is why can't we be that frisky without the alcohol. My answer would be that you just need to get to know each other better. Maybe you should just tell you GF how much you enjoyed ____ the other night when you were together. That might help to lower the two of your's inhibitions without the drinks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2005
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 11:22am
Its not so much that we have to be drunk to get busy. We have way more sex sober than drunk, so thats not the problem. I am just not sure sometimes if its an ok thing to do, even on the rarity. Can't help but think sometimes that its not me she wants, but wants me for the physicality of it. I know this to be far from the truth, but can't help but feel ho-hum about it sometimes...
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 02-03-2006 - 11:33am

"Can't help but think sometimes that it's not me she wants, but wants me for the physicality of it."

Uh YEAH. I think there are many times when either partner may just want a sexual release, not a lovemaking session. But the fact that she wants that release with YOU, rather than masturbate, should reassure you.

Not every session of sex has to be meaningful or romantic, etc. We CAN have fun, selfish sex once in a while and still have a meaningful and emotionally satisfying relationship. Doesn't mean that you're taking advantage of one another.

If your overall relationship is good, you should be able to communicate your concerns about this with her.

And it's possible that you're overthinking this a little because of some other issue. Or you need to be reassured of her feelings for you. Let her know how you're feeling.




Edited 2/3/2006 11:36 am ET by katmandoo2001