sex vs making love
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sex vs making love
| Sat, 06-14-2008 - 2:20pm |
ok here is my story(it is a little long)
Shortly after I graduated highschool, I started hanging out with the guys that were "the popular ones".

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It was better because it was PURE sex, and just a physical pleasure.
You can't change him if he doesn't want to try different things but if you don't tell him what you want he'll never know.
Wow.
I dont see why you cant have both (sex and making love) with one person - unless the chemistry is "off" to beginwith.
Welcome to the board, ipinkieswear.
As the other members have said, your DH isn't going to know what you want or like unless you tell him and/or show him. It sounds like he feels he has to be a very respectful lover, which could be because of how he feels about you, or because he was raised to treat a lady like a lady. While I'm not suggesting that anyone should ever abuse you, what a couple does behind closed doors, that is consensual, is not abusive in any way, BUT it can be difficult to know each others boundaries.
Instead of wishing he would crank up the activity, try taking some responsibility for your sex life with him. Initiate sex in different places, drive him crazy throughout the day with talk of what you're wearing, what you would like to do to him, etc. Maybe watch porn with him. Here are some articles that might help you change direction a bit:
Better Sex, Easy as 1-2-3: 20 Tips Every Couple Should Know
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextechnique/0,,drruth_r9s4,00.html
Hot Monogamy
Playboy bunnies share their tips on keeping the love alive
http://love.ivillage.com/lnm/lnmgetcloser/0,,bmxq58mm,00.html?nlcid=ls|01-10-2008|
Banish Sexual Boredom
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sexinthemood/0,,drpatti_1kkm,00.html
10 All-Time Best Bedroom Tricks
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextechnique/0,,traceycox_b1g0g04t,00
10 Things Good Girls Can Learn from Porn Stars
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextechnique/0,,9x7nhpjx,00.html
You'll need to take small steps and work all of the newness into everyday most likely to amp things up. As far as why you have orgasms now vs. then, it could just be that you need that emotional connection to let yourself go there. With the first guy, a lot of what you did was sort of an act to make him think you were the best sex ever. If the two of you had ever developed an emotional connection, it's likely that you would have been having great sex and orgasms .... more time may have provided that as well. With your DH, he sees you for who you really are ... if there's a tigress in there, let her out to play! Don't fake anything, let him know that you want to try something new out, and give it an honest effort. See where it leads, and how he reacts.
For me, his reaction is a huge factor in how turned on I get. it's also a great form of encouragement for me to want to share more, try more with him.
On another note, I would like to ask a favor of you. You have some masked language in your original post (a word that violates TOS, yet is used by replacing a letter with a symbol). To avoid having your post flagged and possibly removed because of this, you can go back and edit the post. Replace the masked language with another word (I think I saw the same word 3 times while reading). Even if you say _____TOS WORD_____, the folks here will be able to fill in the blanks. Thanks for considering this, it will help to keep the thread alive.
follow me to my partners in the siggy exchange:
Guard & Reserves Families ~ Secrets of Married Sex
Click here and tell me:
Do you Surf the Net for Porn?
While reading your post, somehow I had 2 different types of music going off in my head.
Instead of wishing he would crank up the activity, try taking some responsibility for your sex life with him.
Perfectly stated Misty....as always.
A woman's sexual satisfaction should always be in her own hands.
Sometmes literally...lol
Mrs P
Perfectly stated Misty....as always.
A woman's sexual satisfaction should always be in her own hands.
Sometmes literally...lol
There are a few words that the filters will keep you from being able to enter. When making a post, it is always best to type actual words, without masking. If the filters stop your post because of a word that is considered against TOS, then changing it to an acceptable real word will work just fine.
The topics here, and the words used, would be inappropriate on most of the boards. When the posts are reviewed, the subject area is taken into consideration in that case .... but words that the filters don't allow still get deleted. Sometimes it doesn't make sense, but it's what we have to work with.
Thanks for making the changes. That way the thread will still have meaning.
follow me to my partners in the siggy exchange:
Guard & Reserves Families ~ Secrets of Married Sex
Click here and tell me:
Do you Surf the Net for Porn?
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