Sex & your period
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Sex & your period
| Tue, 02-22-2005 - 9:16am |
I have been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now. We are talking about marriage and we are very much in love. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and he has never been married. When we first started haveing sex and I had my period, he had sex with me and even went down on me during that time. He actually got sick after going down on me during my period...of course that would be enough to make you sick. I told him he did not have to do that but he said it was ok. Now, a few months down the road, he will not have sex during my period. He wants to know that I am done and there is no spoting. My question is....are most men grossed out about sex during a woman's period? It makes me feel like I have the plague. I have given him a few BJ's during this time, but he will not touch me until my period is over & no spoting. Do I just accept this? He gets real uncomfortable after sex because he wants to clean up immediately. During sex is fine, but when it's over he is the first one to the bathroom to clean up. Maybe he has an issue about the fluids. He says he love me and having sex with me but he just can't stand the messiness of sex. Please, I need feedback!

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It sounds like he has issues with sexual fluids since he has to clean up right away,
I find it kind of weird he’s all against having sex with you on your period now..
After having gone down on you before while you where on it..
Had he expressed his refusal to have sex while on your period before that?
If not, then I just think he had a very bad experience that time and hasn’t recovered and his need for cleanliness might be one of the effects. Only you would be able to answer that though. If he doesn’t like the feel of intimate fluids, you can always have a towel on hand for him and you to dry off with to avoid having to leave the bed right away. It's also good to have under you while you have sex and on your period.. I like to call it the love towel :)
Also, he cannot complain about getting sick after going down on you that time, he knew you where bleeding. This should just be a learning lesson for him not to go down on you at those times.. this doesn’t mean your “icky” to be intimate with in other ways.
Waiting for you to have "0" signs spotting or is a bit much.. Or is he waiting to go down on you??
OK so perhaps I'm the exception, it does seem to gross some guy's out
But I see it as a fact of life, I'll go down on my love any time just don't think about it she can leave a tampon in if she having a heavy flow.
She is often more frisky during that time of the month or just before, I know that orgasm helps reduce her stomach cramps, and a good session will bring her period forward a couple of days early.
We just got some red towels to stick under her sweet a** -saves on laundering the whole lot of bed linen if were on the bed lol.
My love is the same cleaning up first and wiping away every trace of me so can't help you there
and it's only a week a month.
cheers Jacobiteone
Hi,
The only thing I can think of is, maybe him being sick after going down on you that one time stayed with him and he has yet to get over it. So he tries to avoid having that happen again (puking is not the most pleasant thing to do , especially after sex ). I wouldn't worry about it though he probably still finds you very attractive and he probably still loves to make love to you , just not at that time. And should you accept it ?? Yes I think you should. What fun would it be if he is doing something he doesn't enjoy? It is only a week out of a month , what's a week ? Maybe you can try a vibrator during this time, if you need to be pleasured ? And about the cleaning up right after having sex.. hey I am exactly the same way, I get up right after, clean up, and then go back to bed and hug my honey, so sorry I can't help you there.
Ymusbcrzy,
My DW and I enjoy sex during her period.
I will go down on her. Sometimes she leaves her tampon in, sometimes not. I can understand your BF's problems getting sick. Every once in a while it will turn me off.
Perhaps it is just a temporary setback with him. Maybe he can use a vibrator or his fingers on you during that time of the month.
John
I just read some statistics in a womans magazine about this. over 60% said they didn't care whether the woman had her period, a little less than 20% said they would not have sex while a woman is on her period and a little less than 20% said they wouldn't mind but the woman objects to have sex during that time.
Have you tried asking him why the change? Have an open and non-judgmental conversation about it. Don't take it personally (although it may be hard). Listen to his side of it and express your own needs. Hopefully you can come to some compromise or understanding. Personally I find the group that isn't into sex on the period very frustrating to be with because I am particularly horny during that time.
It sounds like he might have an issue with fluids..Or that one time of getting sick was enough for him. Have you tried talking to him about this issue should it be one?
As for my DH, when I did have my periods he wouldn't make love to me either because we both agreed it was something we didn't want to do (I had painful periods as it was). He'd deal with spotting just fine. I'm the one that had the issue with the spotting. I always want to be clean for my husband.
As for running to the loo to get cleaned up after sex, he usually runs for a washcloth to clean me up if he has ejaculated on me. Usually we lie in bed and talk if we don't have to be anywhere important. Sometimes we just hold one another and whisper things back and forth even if we are all alone.
I guess it depends on every guy, really.
It's important that you reconcile this with your own feelings if you plan to marry this guy. So, it needs to be discussed since feeling "like you have the plague" one week or so out of every month isn't conducive to feeling loved.
Some men are more squeamish about blood and female fluids than others and you can either accept this about your partner or you can't. It's not likely that he'll change after marriage either.
Personally, I don't like my DH going down on me when I'm in my period because I don't feel comfortable. And what's the point if it's not enjoyable? He accepts that.
Edited 2/23/2005 2:57 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001
I don't really believe its possible to say whether or not this is "normal" among men, too many differences.
I do agree with the thought that your guy hasn't quite gotten over the 'sick' episode he went through. That wouldn't surprise me at all. Men and women have their different reasons for their different choices, just like they do for changing their minds too.
Tell ya the truth, if he is still THAT much into you outside of that part of your cycle, then I say count your blessings that you're not one of those out there who don't enjoy sex hardly at all regardless.
Just relax and enjoy and let him be who he is and how he feels about your period. If he feels better letting you finish and is STILL there to be with you every time, then enjoy your blessing with him, I say.
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