Sexless in Montreal

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Sexless in Montreal
2
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 7:49pm

It's been a little over year since my bf and I have been dating. I'm 21. He's 26. And we're both virgins. We tried to have sex for the first time about a month ago, but it was painful, he couldn't stay hard, I was too tight...it just didn't work. So, last night I tried to initiate sex again, and he seemed kinda standoff-ish (well he always is). Anyway, he admitted that he's afraid he won't know what to do, or how to do anything, seeing that this is "unchartered territory". I won't have a clue of what to do either, but he just doesn't seem to have much interest in having sex. He says the next time he'll be up to it. But, now I feel like I pressured him. He doesn't mind doing other stuff, but when it comes to that, fuggedaboutit. And because he's so good at oral sex, I think he'll feel really bad if he can't do as good a job when it comes to actually having intercourse. But it isn't about the pleasure for me, I just want to experience this with him.

What to do!!? What to do!!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Sun, 02-13-2005 - 8:09pm

Besides the basics, knowing tab A goes into tab B, no one knows what it's like until they try it and it will take time, patience and understanding.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 02-14-2005 - 3:56pm

The longer you two put this off and make it much more important than it is, the harder it will be consumate your relationship. Mutually satisfying intercourse takes time to master, just like oral sex does, so be prepared for the first time to be less than great.

And vaginal stimulation is different than oral or manual, so he'll have to get used to the difference and perhaps, even learn to respond to it.

Get the 1st time over with after some great oral sex and you'll find that the next few times get easier and more enjoyable. Don't make this such a big deal though....it's not.