sex?or ...not

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2007
sex?or ...not
7
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 1:23am


okay so i met this guy...then he asked me out....we went to a water park...and we had several more great dates..we had several heated make out sessions but he didn't seem to want more..what should i do? is he ready for sex? is it me? i want to have sex but i don't know how i should do..

confused tiggiegurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: tiggiegurl
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 7:05am

Welcome to the board tiggiegurl.

Since he has continued to ask you on dates, and has had several heated make out sessions, it doesn't sound like "it's you". Perhaps he isn't ready, perhaps he's trying to make sure you are ready. Have you let him know that you want more?

Instead of assuming that he doesn't want more, you really need to talk to him, ask him what's holding him back. That's where you will find your answers.



Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket




my partner in the siggy exchange






iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
In reply to: tiggiegurl
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 9:00am

He may really like you a lot and is just showing you respect in waiting. Like Misty said, it sounds like something you should talk about with him. Maybe he is one of the rare men that is waiting for marriage. Its hard to say. There are a lot of reasons that a man may wait to move forward in a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2007
In reply to: tiggiegurl
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 11:02am

I'll reiterate what the ladies said here - but from a guys perspective -

If you're still dating and he's still digging you during your little rendzevous, then it's very likely, "not you."

Personally, I dated a few girls in high school and college, had lots of makes outs but was scared of the consequences of sex (see: intercourse). I was a sophomore in college when I finally had IC.

I don't regret it, but looking back I sometimes wish that the first time with my wife, was indeed my first time as well.

Your guy could be thinking like that. (If so that's a great sign) - guys that have some respect for themselves and their own limitations can typically be more in touch with you.

The ladies win this thread - talk to him - but I'll add: not in the bedroom. Do it while you're out for a drive on the way to a movie. Somewhere private but not intimate.

-LG

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
In reply to: tiggiegurl
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 2:43pm
Your best bet is to talk to him about it. There is no way we know if he's ready for sex, or you for that matter. If you don't want to talk to him about it, just let things play out the way they will...believe me, you'll know when he wants it!!
Photobucket
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
In reply to: tiggiegurl
Mon, 07-16-2007 - 3:32pm
Just wanted to add to this. My son, who happens to be a 6'5' gorgeous Marine, waited till he was 23 and back from Iraq to lose his virginity. He just happened to save himself for the girl he married earlier this year. Now imagine a Marine having to deal with his buddies who all knew he was a virgin! Some guys just have that kind of fortitude and if your guy is one of them ... you can't begin to imagine how lucky you are! At least that's what my daughter-in-law tells me LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2007
In reply to: tiggiegurl
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 9:23am
The best thing to do is ask him and discuss it. It could be his first time and he's feeling insecure. I know that if I'm intimidated by a girl I tend to feel insecure about myself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
In reply to: tiggiegurl
Tue, 07-17-2007 - 9:53am

It will happen when the time is right! Don't confuse "sex" with "love". Not wanting sex doesn't mean not caring about you. It COULD mean that he cares very much about you, but he also respects you, and doesn't want to get carried away just yet. He might be afraid of pregnancy, as others have mentioned. Or he might be waiting to see if things work out further.....or not.

If you enjoy being with him, and it seems that he enjoys being with you, enjoy that, and let nature take it's course.