sex/period question

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2006
sex/period question
4
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 2:40am
Hi all! I have a question for everyone. I have never gone all the way with a guy while it was "that time of the month". There's a fair chance that this might occur here in the near future. I have a history with this guy (rather complicated, but in a GOOD way), and we have had oral sex and whatnot...but that's it....we aren't in an exclusive relationship or anything...So, I am concerned as to what I should say or do if things go farther and I *am* on my period?
Should I say something (tactfully, of course) that lets him know the deal, but that I still want to go farther? I mean, he is gonna find out eventually, if we are at that point. And...what should I say? Guys? Girls?? ANY tips at ALL would be much appreciated! I certainly do not want to gross him out, but, as I said...he's gonna find out!LOL
Thanks!!!!
Star
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 3:48am

You just have to tell him at some point when it's obvious that there is going to be some action happening. Probably at the start is best - like when you start to get a bit hot and heavy. Kiss a couple of times and just tell him before it gets too hot and heavy.

He'll either be happy to go as far as you'll let him, or he may prefer to not go there at all. Every guy is different. You could probably tell him that you've got your period and then let him know how far you are prepared to go if he wants to continue. Then tell him that it's up to him and you understand that whatever he wants to do is fine by you. Having your period when you want sex isn't exactly the best timing and yeah, it can put a damper on things, but it happens. It's just part of life. Don't get too worried about it because it happens to everyone and is just one of those things that every couple has to deal with at some point.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 10:20am

If you have a long history with this guy...and you think the time is getting near, why not just make sure that time doesn't happen while you're menstruating? I mean, really, if he's waited a long time, what's another few days? Or are you planning it this way because you think that during your period will be a "safe" time for you....that you can't get pregnant? If so, you're very wrong. You CAN get pregnant during your period. If you plan to start having intercourse, you also need to plan your birth control!

Some guys might be grossed out by it. Other guys don't care. ALL guys know that women have periods once a month, so it's not going to be a surprise to him! Once a month, it'll be messy. If he doesn't like messy, he'll wait.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2006
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 2:31pm
My girlfriend and I would refrain from any sexual activity during her periods as it is messy. If we were still involved sexually it wouldn't an issue now because she was going through menopause at the time so I am sure that she is no longer having them and I would use a condom during intercourse if that is your contraceptive of choice, it is mine and it is my friends as well. We are still friends which is good. You can still get pregnant even during your period. Plus, if we were still involved, we would still use condoms when we have intercourse because while it is rare, there have been cases of women who no longer experience periods getting pregnant.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2006
Sat, 11-11-2006 - 6:58pm
Thanks for your input! No no...I am not planning it because I think it is 'safer' during my period. I know it isn't :) As I said ,it's complicated. I only see this guy when he's in my area (or when I go to see him).He travels for work. So, we are kind of at the mercy of whenever we happen to connect, time permitting, etc!!! It's complicated. LOL That's about all I can describe it as. As I said before, things have been leading up to sex...we've done oral, and messed around. But, well, I figured I needed to be prepared should the moment arise this next time. It might not, but it might! LOL I am a firm believer in being prepared. Thanks again for your input!!
Star