Sexual experience in relation to size?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2005
Sexual experience in relation to size?
36
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 12:49pm
This is a question for all the men out there: I am curious if there is a correlation between the 'size' of the guy and the number of lovers they have had. I am most curious about men who are either a fair bit smaller than normal or men who are a fair bit bigger than average. I have been thinking about this because of my last two boyfriends I have one who fits into both camps.

The big guy, whose size is quite remarkable, was by far and away the most experienced boyfriend I have ever had and he had been with a huge number of women. Initially I found this surprising because he's kinda shy, about average looking and not at all aggressive with women. I had to pursue him and I’m usually the shy one! When I asked him about it I was shocked at how aggressive women were with him if they found out about his 'dimensions'. Some of his stories were truly outrageous, I mean I don't think I had ever checked out a guy 'down there' before dating this man, the way he described it some women seem to make a game of it. I could barely believe the number of truly shocking experiences he had had.

On the other hand, my current boyfriend is very small and has had even less sexual partners than I have. He did mention to me once that he had had a couple of bad experiences with previous girlfriends which he believes may have been linked to his small size. Not too surprisingly, he is insecure about this and I don't think he has ever even fooled around with a girl unless they dating pretty seriously. Typically I would respect this, but he's implied that if he was more confident (not sure if this means bigger?) he would definitely have taken advantage of some missed opportunities to become lovers with other women. Lost some points there. Anyway this is a long post, but I would really be interested in knowing from guys, especially those who are outside the normal size range of what there sexual history is.

BTW, for my age I consider myself to be somewhat experienced sexually because when I am in a relationship I will experiment and have a high libido. However, I haven't had many partners so maybe most people would consider me inexperienced.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 1:05pm
A man's size has nothing to do with his past experiences, any more than it has to do with his ability to sexually satisfy a woman. You've probably heard the old but true saying, "it's not the size of a man's penis but how he uses it is what counts."
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 2:16pm

You're confusing experience with knowledge and self confidence. A man (or woman) can have lots of experience, but that doesn't necessarily make them better lovers, or even good lovers. A man can have a large penis, but not have a clue how to satisfy a woman. A man can have a small penis, and be a great lover. There is more to pleasure and satisfaction than a penis and a vagina. LOTS more! A man's hands and tongue can more than make up for a lack of penile size!

What really counts is knowledge of your partner's body, and the desire to give pleasure as well as receive it.

The size of a man's penis doesn't always have to do with how much confidence a man has. Your friend with the smaller penis lacks self confidence because of bad experiences with women who didn't have a clue, and who hurt his feelings. A man with a large penis can rely on his size and think that's all he needs.

How much experience a man or woman has comes down to opportunity and/or morals and beliefs, and probably self confidence.

After all is said and done, I don't know of too many women who will check out a man's penis before becoming involved with him. And, if you develop feelings for a man, the size of his penis won't matter at all. His knowledge and ability are what gives satisfaction and pleasure, along with your feelings for him.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 5:33pm

No, size has nothing to do with experience and visa versa.

There's no way anyone would know about a man's size unless they had been intimate.... unless he's "advertising" to entice women to have sex with him.

But there will always be size queens.

However a man has to possess a lot more than THAT to keep most women interested for very long.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2005
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 7:33pm


Well I'm pretty well-endowed, and I had many, many girls in college almost attack me for that reason - pursued me like I was a whore. Seems like a generational thing - these girls were always extremely, almost comically "liberal," and probably pretty intent to prove it. Then you have the traditional girls - i.e. from traditional families - who didn't want to waste the years before their consciences and folk memory kicked in and they'd settle down to pursue the cultural life their parents and tribe expected.

Frankly, size matters. Not because it ought to, or because it actually feels better, or becuase it is better, but because it's a token the imagination can hold on to and grow around like a lattice. So girls found out through other girls that I'm well-endowed enough to justify a one-night stand, or a feel around the pool table, or seriously just showing up at my door and ringing it until I answer.

Sounds ludicrous, and it is. But what other reason could it be? I couldn't be that wonderful. It must've been because they wanted the wang. And obviously most girls in college are still starting out and just want the experience.

I don't understand though why every damn penis size question devolves into a "it's not the size but how you use it" comments page after page when that's clearly not what the person is asking about - although it does seem to be what these posters want the question to turn into. Strange. Only confirms, sort of, what they seemto be afraid of. Obviously a girl doesn't have to be exquisitely beautiful, or have great boobs, or have long slender legs or a dancer's poise and flexibility or the ability to charm the pants off a European diplomat, but hey - they all sound pretty nice eh?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
Fri, 10-14-2005 - 8:13pm
I dont understand why some people dont get the fact that to many women, size doesnt matter(unless its too big or just too small. Women who go to a guys house and ring his door bell till he answers just to have sex with him are probably very inexperienced, have no idea if they like a big penis, but would like that experience , just to see...Experienced women who have been with men of all sizes do know that unless we are talking extremes, size is no big deal. There will always be size queens, but , come to think of it , they are the ones with the large vaginas. There are plenty of women who will tell you that even 7" is too long for them and they hate having their cervix banged into....Besides most polls will show you its not length at all that they would like , but girth that is more desirable.
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 12:14am
You obviously missed my statement acknowledging that there will always be size queens. However, that doesn't mean that we all are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sat, 10-15-2005 - 8:07am

Just a humble two cents from an old hubby, keri,

There are very beautiful women out there who aren't very active, sexually, at all, whereas others can't get enough. Good looking guys, just the same. So I tend to view size overall the same way.

Now when it comes to smaller penis size, sure, it just may actually affect how confident a guy may be and how much he is willing to enjoy. So from corner of the room point of view, I can see how size suggest "a clue" of that man's confidence, leading to whatever his level of sexual activity, but its still not an accurate litmus test for it IMO.

The old saying of "how a man handles his size is how he handles his sexuality" is so untrue. Now if the saying changed to "how a man handle his size...etc.", then I'd give that one a pinch more credit.

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 12:44am

Lets all remember that in many discussions, and especially sexuality, there will be no "right" answer, only the answer which fits your experience and beliefs. And the truth may be completely different for the person sitting next to you.

SO my answer, while certainly not for everyone, there is a strong INDIRECT possibility that in this case size did correlate to a greater number of sex partners. If raised in an environment where the size of a man's penis was subject for discussion, it is quite possible that a well endowed man would learn self confidence far exceeding that of the man whose small size was an embarrassment... This was the way it was in MY world, and some young men were outright teased in gym for their small size.

So while skill certainly is involved in pleasing a partner, the man who has a LOT of partners may not even care about a second date, and the self confidence whihc gets him in bed the first time, based on his belief in his sixe, nay not suffer at all if he turns out to be a lousey lover. Or, the number of partners he has had, as a result of his self confidence fueled by his trust in his size, may well have also given him the experience to be a great lover.

And not to disagree with you all, but I DO>>> For a long term partner, most women may not be concerned about penis size, but virtually every woman I have known ion my open talking group of friends has admited to the desire to expereince at least once a HUGH penetration... Again, the man with a LOT of partners only needs once with any individual.

Bottom line in my reality is that men with small penis's start off with some negative self esteem. And even a guy like me, with a nice 7 and half well filled out and shaped inches, but only 5'3" tall, deals with an EXPECTATION that I have a small penis. I am just glad to have the opportunity to prove otherwise once in a while...

Whether it actually matters in bed or not, the truth is that the myth prevails, and this pervades much of our society to the point that for some people the myth becomes true. Myself, I simply love the visual aspect of seeing a large penetration, and so even as a guy, I like seeing a larger penis at work in oporn, which of course just reinforces the myth.

So if you are trying to cheer up the lesser endowed man by saying he can still be a GREAT lover in spite of his size, Id say you are correct, but Id also say both you and he would probably not turn down an extra 2 or 3 inches if you could have it either...Great lover with a great penis as well still beats great lover and less than average...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 9:38am

Hi Keri,

I think you will have a tough time getting a good solid answer on this one, because we all speak from our own experience.

I think there might be some truth though to the observation that a man with a larger penis might have a bit more confidence in the area of taking advantage of opportunities presented, where a guy with smaller penis might be somewhat fearful of judgment and let some of those opportunities pass.

Much of this is a cultural perception of what a larger penis means. In tribal cultures where no clothing is the norm women don't even think about the penis and are attracted to the males ability to hunt, feed their family and make war (i.e. protection) and men are attracted to women with larger hips that are more likely to survive childbirth (breasts size etc. is not a factor).

From the standpoint of number ofsexual encounters, confidence and the willingness to be permiscuous is the REAL signpost.

Peace,
Scott.

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 10:59am
"He would not turn down an extra 2-3 inches if he could have it either." I have to disagree because that extra 2-3 inches might mean the difference between pain and pleasure for HER!

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