Sexual Situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2007
Sexual Situation
8
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 10:08am
My wife of 9 years wants to try anal sex in which I have never done. I am not to sure about it but willing to try it. I need some advise on the subject including how much penetration and positions ect. Do women really enjoy that act or does it hurt? Thank you for your advise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 10:55am

There's lots of info on it if you do a search. Here's just one web site: http://www.askmen.com/love/vanessa/28_love_secrets.html

iVillage also has a taboo board that goes into it more than we do here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 11:25am

It depends on the woman if she loves it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 11:55am

Hello loverboysc, and welcome to the board.

There are a ton of nerve endings in the anus that make play there enjoyable for both sexes. While there can be pain while attempting anal intercourse, there does not have to be. Since your wife wants to try it, it will probably be easier for her to relax -- which is important to prevent pain. BTW, pain is a sign that something is wrong, so you both need to communicate a lot during this, and if there is pain -- STOP.

Some general things... Two key things to having a successful attempt is lube and relaxation. Since you can actually get a bacterial infection from feces, it is also recommended that you wear a condom. The condom also makes clean up easier. Never go from anal sex to vaginal sex until you have washed -- as you do not want to transfer the bacteria there either.

- She may wish to clean herself well beforehand. Having a BM several hours before and a shower is usually all that's necessary.

- Many women find that it is easier to relax if they have already had an orgasm. The man can be more patient if he has had a prior orgasm as well.

- Some women prefer to be on top so that she can control the penetration. Being in the spooning position also allows things to progress slowly and comfortably.

- You will need lots of lube. If you think you have used enough, use a bit more to be sure. If using a condom, you need a water based lube.

- Do not use numbing agents! Pain is a sign that something is wrong -- so she needs to feel what is going on.

- She needs to be relaxed. Her natural instinct will make her want to clench her muscles, so you will have to enter slowly and wait for her to prompt you to go any further. Some people recommend that you play with anal toys and/or fingers prior to attempting anal intercourse. Using toys and/or fingers will help her adapt to having something in her anus. Others recommend that she push outward (as if to have a BM) while you are pushing inward. This will keep her muscles from clenching.

- Thrusting is possible once you are able to be fully inserted. Again, let her guide that action. It is very likely that the first couple of times you both have orgasms quickly, and may not even make it to the point of thrusting.

- Clean up is important. If you have used a condom, most of your clean up will be taken care of when you take the condom off. Otherwise, using soap and water is all that is necessary.

Here are a couple of articles that you might want to read as well:

5 Myths of Anal Sex Uncovered
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,jdgc,00.html

Adventurous Intimacy: 6 Do's and Don'ts of Anal Sex
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,b31g,00.html

I want to try anal sex
http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/experts/carnal/qas/0,,638358_602026,00.html

Second Opinions: Anal Sex
What you should know
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/0,,7558qs10,00.html



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2007
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 1:07pm

Tish,

Thank you for your advise on this. Is it ok to ejaculate inside or not? Do you get a lot of pleasure with anal sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 05-07-2007 - 2:11pm

Dh usually does ejaculate inside, sometimes he'll pull out and cum on my butt or back.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
Tue, 05-08-2007 - 7:01pm
Along with all the tips given here, there are also very detailed, step-by-step instructions on www.the-clitoris.com under "anal intercourse and sex".
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2007
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 3:50pm
I have tried it with my late husband, and we enjoyed it. Not all woman are that open to do it, but yours is. My advice to you is go slow and take your cues from her.
If you are going to fast or to deep she will let you know. But most of all,Relax!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 05-09-2007 - 5:13pm
Welcome to the board capicorndragon. I hope you'll stop by May Roll Call and let us get to know you a little better.


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