Sexual Tension
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Sexual Tension
| Sun, 11-18-2007 - 10:03pm |
Recently, I learned from a player, the idea of "sexual tension". To my best understanding, it is like lust, crush, butterfly in the stomach and so on. He said that people should embrace it and inflame it. Well, I am one of those who were conditioned to not be forward, to suppress the sexual tension. I do feel it as I am having a crush on one particular girl, but am struggling to embrace it. What advice can you guys give me?

I wouldn't take too much advice from "players" if I were you!
If you have a "crush" on someone.......it's natural and normal to have sexual feelings.......which is not necessarily "tension"......and it's not something that has to be "acted on".
I'm sure a "player" would embrace or inflame that tension differently than I might. Personally, I find those to be normal sexual feelings when you are attracted to someone -- whether that is a new attraction or one that has existed for a lengthy time. I still feel that sort of tension when I think about my husband, or at times when he touches me, and part of embracing it is to simply enjoy it and allow it to build until the proper time to release it.
Like Sakura, I feel that having a crush on a person has the possibility of leading to more. You do not need to be forward to embrace that feeling. It is a wonderful part of developing a relationship with another person. It's all about what you want from the relationship, and your own comfort level in sharing your sexuality with another human being. If you want to see where your relationship with this girl will lead, then you only need move in the direction of trying to discover that. It will take both of you to determine what you want to share with each other.
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Thanks people,
I do want a relationship and this girl may or may not be the one. So, I will try to "discover" where the relationship will lead. On the other hand, what did you mean when you said that I do not need to be forward and let the crush built up? I cannot help but think about her all the time. It does feel good -- but from personal experience, the more thoughts I put into a girl, the greater the disappointment.
I guess that is why I am not a player. At first it seems like a good idea, but it is not the same when the feeling is not there.
"the more thoughts I put into a girl, the greater the disappointment."
What's your definition of forward? To me, saying "hey, I think you're hot, wanna get it on" is forward .... saying "would you like to meet for a coffee (happy hour, dinner, movie could all be inserted here)?" isn't forward. If you want to have the possibility of a relationship, you have to at least let the person know you have an interest in getting to know them better.
Perhaps the disappointment is happening because you're not acting on getting to know the girl. If you are acting on getting to know her, and you end up disappointed, then it's far better to learn that early on before you invest too much of yourself into the relationship. It's part of the whole process called dating, not of being a player.
Meet BOB, My New Best Friend!
follow me to my partners in the siggy exchange:
DIY Brides ~ Betrayed Girlfriends Support
Z
Meet BOB, My New Best Friend!
follow me to my partners in the siggy exchange:
DIY Brides ~ Betrayed Girlfriends Support