Sexually Distraught

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Sexually Distraught
4
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 6:18am

I am not sure if it is my age(19) or just the lack of sexual attention but I have been on a sexual high for a couple of weeks now! Since DH and I have been married and even when we were dating we had like 20 minute sex sessions. The wild crazy kind! Well lately I have been CRAVING a long seesion(2 hrs. or more).

I asked DH the other day if he would be interested in having such a session with me. Seconds after I asked he told me NO!! I asked him why and he said he didn't know. Then he threw a ? back at me and asked me why I always want more after we have our normal 20-45 minute sessions! Which leads me back to the first sentence.

I am actually quite frustrated and he doesn't seem to notice. I really have no idea what to do. I know I am attractive and throw off a high sexual appeal. I shower daily so I am always clean. I even have tons of guys honk at me every now and then and nothing seems to bring his attention to me. Is there something I can do to get that 2 hour session?

Any advice, comments, or anything would be great! Thanks everyone!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 7:34am

Are you able to have an orgasm (or more than one) during the time that you are having sex? If not, I would start a conversation there.

Are there reasons why he may be saying "no" to your desire to have sex for a longer time period? Is he overly tired, are you making time for sex when he isn't faced with either having to get up in a few hours, or hasn't had a long and tiring day? Are you being active during sex, or would he feel like he would have more physical strain if you were to have sex longer? What kinds of things (other than asking him) have you done to let him know that you want "more" sex during your session?

I find that it's always better to "show" DH that I'm interested in continuing. Sometimes I rub against him or caress him, other times I go down on him, sometimes I climb on top of him, or if he's still inside, I use my PC muscles to hold on and start riding him again.

It sounds like he is being a bit defensive and thinking you aren't "satisfied" with the sex that you are having. That can add to his stress level, and work on his ego. If you do want to talk to him more about it, I would be sure to let him know that you are satisfied, but want to experience more -- as you think it will be great for both of you. Also, you might want to schedule some time for the two of you without any kids. That way, you can both concentrate on each other.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 8:00am

I am able to orgasm but usually only once. I orgasm more with him when we foreplay and usually we don't really do that!

I am not sure really if there are any reasons. We are 8 years different in age and he says that he is worn out after our sessions and usually just doesn't want to go on. I don't think we have ever made time for sex. We usually just do it randomly. He is more active then I am and I think it's because I prefer him to be that way. I'm a little shy when we make love but I've come a long way. I'm trying to be more active but to tell you the truth I am still learning and I'm not sure what to do most of the time!! I really haven't done anything but tell him when I want more sex. I tried once to stimulate him to do more but he said he wasn't in the mood for more.

He was quite defensive when I asked him and i told him I was satisfied and just wanted to explore more and spend some quality time while making love. I have had my mom or his mom watch our kids. The last time they watched them was on our anniversary and we didn't make love until after we had already gotten the kids back from them. It was late and we were both tired. I tried to get him to make love to me before we got the kids but there were other things he wanted to do before we got the kids...)=

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 8:21am

Foreplay is still important. I know sometimes guys try to skip over it, but don't let him. Just tell him you're not ready for intercourse yet. Is he willing to keep going until you have an orgasm? That's another way to prolong things too! If you're not ready for it to be over, try to hold back on your own orgasm and see if he will continue to help you achieve one.

You're still young, so I think you will learn how to take charge a bit more as you get more comfortable. Before you try to initiate more, give him a chance to recover so that he won't be too sensitive. As far as the age of both of you, I think you're both still young enough to have lots of energy. He might not be able to last as long, or recover as quickly as he once did.

If you talk with him, do it outside of the bedroom. You might also want to have him visit the site the-clitoris.com. The more active you are during sex, the less tiring it can be on him. Try to change positions often -- that will help both of you hold off on your orgasms and it will help to keep him from getting exhausted.

The next time you plan to have someone watch the kids, let him know that you have something special planned for him. Set a nice environment for the two of you, and don't give him an opportunity to 'make plans'. Will they keep the kids overnight?



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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2007
Mon, 05-14-2007 - 8:45am

I did tell him that I would like us to foreplay more. So far we have done it a little more. I usually orgasm before he does so we don't really have a problem with him or I having to keep going until the other orgasms. I more or less just want to have multiple ones and usually I only achieve one with him.

I have taken charge more I just get stuck sometimes and embarass myself so he usually takes over for me! I do give him a chance to re-cover but then when he is able to have more he says he doesn't want to and usually it is harder for him to orgasm after he already has once. I still think we are young enough too but he seems to be proving me wrong!

I do talk to him outside of the room and I get the same responses. I'll show him that site and let you know what happens. I will try to be more active and see if it helps him.

I let him know what my plans were because I planned the whole anniversary but we still ended up doing what he wanted!! My lil' man is quite a handful so neither of them have offered to keep him overnight yet. I can ask but they'll probably say no!