sexually nieve

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
sexually nieve
8
Fri, 05-27-2005 - 11:28pm
I'm a 50yr divorced woman who feels like she's been in a convent all her life. I know nothing about sex.
I've been seeing a fantastic man for 9 months and he knows I don't know much and is very patient. I trust him totally and I feel safe with him. The other day he asked if he could tie my hands and I let him. I handled it ok. But then later I got confused on a few things. He asked if I had any leather of lace. Lace I have, but leather?? What's with that?? Then he asked when I'm alone and thinking about him, which is always, do I do anything. I told him no and he says no toys or anything?
Is this something I need to start getting concerned about? Cause next time he says I
tie his hands.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: izie2005
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 9:08am

Hi izie! Hope the replies will help you.

I personally don't think it be a concern unless its uncomfortable for you. Some people love to play and have fun when it comes to sex, while others take it extremely seriously. The Mrs. & I, well it depends on the mood we're symmetrically in.

It doesn't sound like he is someone who cannot be trusted or who is or anything like that, but nevertheless, if you are not comfortable with his style just yet, why not let him know? I see nothing wrong with telling him that you'd feel more comfortable being 'more intimate' with him first.

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: izie2005
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 9:18am

I wouldn't say it's something you should be concerned about, BUT I would say it's something the two of you have to sit down and discuss.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
In reply to: izie2005
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 9:24am
Relax a little. DH and I have the occassion to bound and blindfold one another from time to time. Its nothing demented, IMO. Its fun and exciting. When he asked if you thought about him and you said yes, he was meaning in a sexual way. When he asked if you did anything, he was hinting to masturbation. When he asked if you used toys, he was talking about vibrators, dildos, the likes.
Don't be a prude, deary. Just relax. Sex can be a lot of fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: izie2005
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 9:44am

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bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2005
In reply to: izie2005
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 11:15am

JMHO, is right. I'm not being a prude. I am just totally confused.
With my ex it was all about him getting off with plain intercourse. No foreplay, romance, nothing, just wham bam. I hated it.
With this man it's a whole new world for me. But it's a world I know nothing about. So yes, when he asks me about this, that, and the other. I'm like "what's he talking about".
We've done things I've never done, (and from what I've read on here it's been pretty normal stuff) And it's been fantastic. I know he will stop doing something if I ask him too, in fact he always ask me if I'm okay.
So far there have been no boundaries. My first thought when he asked about leather was is he asking for whips and chains? That would be a boundary!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: izie2005
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 11:31am
I'm glad to hear you found a man that enjoys and understands sex is

bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
In reply to: izie2005
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 12:00pm
It's all relative. DH and I engage in anal play, rimming, and some light bondage and yet we may be prudish compared to those who are into SCAT and S & M. What's normal for one is not normal for another.
Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein )
Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: izie2005
Sat, 05-28-2005 - 12:57pm

Sounds like you have a great guy who is open to new things. But if something is suggested that does nothing for you or makes you uncomfortable, just say no.

There's no reason to think that YOU should enjoy the same things as he does. IF you want, give it a try and then decide, but don't feel that you MUST go along because he suggests it.

It's good to be open to suggestions because you might find that you enjoy things that you would have never tried on your own. BUT We all have our own preferences and comfort zones and yours should be respected as well. Have fun!




Edited 5/28/2005 12:59 pm ET ET by katmandoo2001