Is she sexually selfish? (EXPLICIT)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2008
Is she sexually selfish? (EXPLICIT)
16
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 1:22pm

Alright, question from a guy.

So I met this girl about a week and a half ago (25 y/o law student) and we went out on our third date last night. I finally invited her back to my place to watch a movie and have a drink or two. Halfway through our movie, we started kissing, which led to heavy making out, which lead to getting both our shirts off, so I was pretty stoked.

Once we were both topless, I tried to slide my hand between her legs and under her panties, but she grabbed my hand to stop me, so I thought to myself "okay, just chill out, go with the flow and try again in a few minutes."

So we make out a little more. She lets me get her jeans off so all she's wearing is her panties, but she still wouldn't let my hand under them, so I started rubbing her off through her panties. I could tell she was getting into it, so after a minute or two, she finally lets me slide them off and I start to give her head.

So after a while of that, I was thinking "yes, now it's my turn," so I undress, get a condom, but she stops me. She clenches her legs shut and tells it's too soon to go that far. So I'm thinking "okay, if I work on her a little more she'll let me." So I go down on her again, finger her a bit and I made her cum.

So after that, I try to go for sex again, but she's still "not ready" so I slyly suggest she "return the favor IN KIND" but she gets a squeemish look to her face. I didn't beg or anything, just prod her on a bit, but she just jokingly said "sorry, I don't suck **** after just a week."

I'm confused. This woman was saying it's "too soon" and that she's "not ready."

She's ready to let a guy she just met rub her off and eat her out, but she's not ready to have sex or even give head in return? Is this a bad sign? Is she sexually selfish or ungenerous?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 6:07pm
I'd say you both were.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2006
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 6:24pm

hi


I've been in this situation myself....Tricky one too...me and my guy had known each other a month...but hadn't hung out together tomuch...one day he came to my house started the kissing thing and then...went further got to were we did the oral and fingering and all that....Now not saying that i didn't want to ....but he was a very strong influence and he begged and pressured me to go as far as i did...not saying i regret it .....but i was surprised at myself for letting it work and how easy you give in under perssure....he didn't pressure for sex because he wasn't ready ether ...but going down on me YES pressure there for me, considering had only been with one guy.....another thing you must remember she may of thought she wanted it....and got scared....Even if you didn't think you were pressuring her....i think you were and that's why it got as far as it did....next time take it all slower.....1wk of knowing eachother is nothing ......she could have STD'S somthing to think about and the same goes for her.....with you.....Becarful and remember a week is only a week...can't expect much in that time period....


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 7:33pm
I dont think she was selfish, but you were definitely pushing too much.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2008
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 12:31pm
Tough one... Yes, you probably pressured her - but, hey that's what young guys do. It sounds like one or both of you are pretty immature sexually and are letting yourself get carried away. She should have stopped you if she wasn't willing to go further (I can see where after getting her off and giving her oral, you would expect something)and you should have stopped when she told you to. If you both had acted more mature neither one of you would be in that awkward position.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 7:56pm

I think she is a tease!

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Fri, 07-11-2008 - 2:29am

I think that you are assuming that she was thinking rationally at the time. She was getting pushed but went further than she was comfortable with, ended up getting very aroused, and then the brain stopped working and the hormones took over and she let you give her oral and an orgasm.

Is it selfish that she didn't want to give you intercourse or oral sex in return? Welllll..... yes and no. Mind you, she didn't force you to give her oral sex and there wasn't any signed contract saying that she had to return the favour either. Perhaps if she had though about it more clearly she would have realised that you would expect the favour to be returned so she was naive or inexperienced in that respect.

Is it a bad sign? Not necessarily, although I wonder what issues will surface in the future since you are prepared to go further and faster than her. Things may go perfectly well from now on but I so suspect that you may find that need to give her more time and encouragement to do the things that you want to do in the future. I suspect that she may not be as "uninhibited" as you are.

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