she thinks her breasts are too small

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008
she thinks her breasts are too small
12
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 4:21pm
just as the title says.....she thinks her breasts are too small so they are completely off limits for me to see, touch,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 4:59pm

Telling her you like them hasn't worked? She thinks you're lying? how nice of her


Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 5:47pm

Welcome to the board, dylhan.

Have you tried talking with her outside of the bedroom. Really, sit her down and have a honest conversation with her about how it makes YOU feel when she keeps this part of her body covered. During that conversation, reassure her about your feelings for her too.

I would point out to her that it's like a slap in the face to you. You are telling her you like her body and she's telling you she doesn't believe you. I wouldn't be mean about it, I would just include it in your conversation so that it gives her something to think about.

If she still can't relax, ask her what she thinks she needs to learn to relax about this. Sometimes, people have to find their own path to deal with their insecurities. Let her know that you want her to work on it because you care about her -- all of her. This insecurity certainly isn't good for her own emotional health.





iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2006
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 6:03pm

You have gotten some great responses already so I will add my 2 cents.


I was just like your SO. Little to no breasts and all the talk and loving my wonderful dh gave me for 25 years still never helped.



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Design Your Own Se
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2007
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 8:31am
I think society in general ruins us small breasted womans self esteem. You look at models, many actresses, my goodness even the Barbie Doll they all have decent sized breasts. Then of course some doc had to come up with an operation to make your breasts larger making it seem as though that is what is accepted. Which is fine if woman want to get implants. Definately not judging. Men like porn and playboy and you rarely find a small chested woman on a porn and never in playboy. Its really sad that society has done this. I for the first time now can actually fill out an A cup completely and pretty close to a B just because I went from 100 pounds to 135 pounds but they are still small. My husband loves them and it took him alot of years of him telling me how much he loved them for me to get over the self conscious issues. Its really a shame she just wont give you one shot at them because she will realize no matter the size the nerves are still there and it feels great. Just keep reassuring her that size does not matter. I think back to my DD cup cousin that lived with me as a teen. We had phys ed together and oh how miserable she would be on the days we had to do the mile run. She is 37 years old now and ended up with a breast reduction in her 20's because she just could not handle having such large breasts and the back aches that came along with them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 4:15pm

Sounds like you are doing a lot.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2008
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 12:15pm




Hey dylhan,


if she hates her boobs so much, suggest her a boob job,even if that's against your believes,if it'll boost her confidence,go for it,and most importantly-support her.


good luck




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 12:36pm
Welcome to the board, gal_ambercat, and thanks for joining in.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2006
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 4:35pm

This may seem strange because I'm a male but I can totally relate to her frame of mind and difficulty in changing it.

 Rich, good to the last drop

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 5:00pm
"Accusing her of calling you a liar will cause her to love you and reveal her naked body to you???? I don't think so. Put yourself in her place - would you feel loved by mean comments like that."



Hi Rich,



I just wanted to comment on this a little. For the first 16 years I was with my DH, I was very reluctant to accept his compliments because of my own insecurities. Surely if I felt that some part of my body was inadequate (or overly adequate) then he must be just saying that to make me feel good, but he couldn't possibly be serious.



It wasn't until we had a long talk and really addressed it that I began to understand. By brushing off his comments, or not believing he was sincere, I was causing a couple of problems. First, I was not believing him which was a problem in and of itself (calling him a liar). Second, I was creating a negative experience in our bedroom because I was putting myself down. It's difficult to really put it all into words, but it did give me something to think about. While I still may have my own insecurities, by removing them from my relationship with DH it has improved our relationship in many ways. I can still feel uncomfortable in a locker room, but I'm not cheating him in that process.



I don't think it should be a point that is made in a mean way, but I do think it is a valuable point to make. He loves her -- all of her, and if she can start to believe that it will help her to deal with her own insecurities.



Just offering a different way to look at it.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2006
Thu, 01-24-2008 - 6:38pm
Thank you Misty for you opinion.

 Rich, good to the last drop

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