Shes sore

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005
Shes sore
9
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 4:10pm
My wife and i have been married almost 2 years and always says that she needs a day or two for her "friend" to feel better before we can have sex again. My thoughts are that its like a muscle and you just have to work it so it wont be as sore, thats just what i think and im wanting to get some feedback on if this thought is right or if my desire to have sex at least everyday has clouded my priority to my wifes health. And if it is something to be worked out and my thoughts are not right i could use any advice on how to help her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2004
In reply to: theguitarguy82
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 4:25pm
theguitarguy, friction can also cause soreness..If you had a blister on your heel, from a long walk yesterday, would you want to repeat the walk today?..try some lube next time, or maybe a different position..or taking less time...Marathon sex sessions can be painful to some women.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2004
In reply to: theguitarguy82
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 4:31pm
Hump is right but she could also mean the opening of her vagina is sore. It can feel bruised even though while having the actual sex it didn't hurt at all. Strange, but true.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: theguitarguy82
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 5:06pm
It could be that she is not wet enough and the friction could be causing her soreness.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2005
In reply to: theguitarguy82
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 7:18pm
You want to have sex "at least" everyday? Like this is the bare minimum that would satisfy you? I think that one line says it all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2003
In reply to: theguitarguy82
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 8:20pm
My wife and I have intercourse as much as three times a day for at least 15 minutes and she never gets sore. We do two things that I think help us and I think will help you. We use a lot of lub. I thrust firmly, but slowly, never hard and fast.
taoist
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005
In reply to: theguitarguy82
Mon, 05-02-2005 - 8:57pm
I didnt mean a bare minimum on the amout of sex, just that if there is a way for her not to be sore then we could do it more often than what we do....which neither of us would mind. Its always really appeared to me that she does get wet enough, there definatley isnt any roughness or painful friction on either of our parts when we do it. So im not sure, but ill try more lube.
thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2004
In reply to: theguitarguy82
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 12:30am

Have you thought maybe her libido is not as high as yours, and she's just using that as an excuse to get a day off? Is "her friend" HER term or yours? You need a little more specific information than that! Is it her vagina, or the outer areas of the vulva?

The vaginal muscles are NOT like your biceps. They're called "involuntary" muscles, much like your facial muscles. They don't need to be exercised. They're normally closed tight, and then when she's sexually aroused, they relax to allow you to enter her. Once the sex is over, the muscles become tight again. They remain the same after years of sex, and even after having babies pass thru.

Are you sure you're taking enough time for oral and/or manual foreplay to make sure she's fully aroused? Even if she is, if it's painful for her every time, then she's nervous, and being nervous, she's not going to lubricate enough. It may seem "wet" to you, but it may not be enough.....and as the others said, if you use some additional lube, that should help. Friction can make a woman VERY sore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2005
In reply to: theguitarguy82
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 12:50am

Every once in a while towards the end of my period, the insides of my vagina "feels" sore. And whereas every female's body is different - it is possible that her complaints are real.

As to <<>>; if you force her to have intercourse after she has said she "is sore", then yes! However,if you agree that "sex" involves more than just intercourse and you don't force her when she is sore, then no!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: theguitarguy82
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 5:19am

>>Have you thought maybe her libido is not as high as yours, and she's just using that as an excuse to get a day off?<<

My thoughts exactly. While it's entirely possible that she really is getting sore, don't discount the possibility that she's using this as an excuse for a break.

I also agree that you need to find out more information than "her friend" needs a break. Our anatomy is made of many different parts, and finding out exactly which part is sore - and what type of pain - would make a world of difference to the solution.

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